My lady parts fancied his dangly bits, which I found almost as annoying as the man himself.
Talking to Nana Maxine about Joe wouldn’t help matters. For whatever reason, they enjoyed each other’s company and her eyes lit up whenever his name entered a conversation. She would never understand why that wasn’t true for everyone. So, much like the detour I’d taken in my car, I answered her question with the other topic my mind couldn’t put down.
“There was this kid at the clinic the other day.” I sucked in my lips, then gave her the highpoints of the situation. “He’s just stuck with me. He was so big and so little all at the same time. Why was he alone? Why was he trying to feed himself hot dogs? How did he even know how to get himself to the clinic in the first place?”
Nan frowned, the lines between her brows standing proud. “Is there anything you can do for him?”
“Hope the next time he comes back he has his mom with him.” I flicked on my turn indicator with a shrug. “Or, better yet, hope he doesn’t need to come back at all.”
The conversation moved on and I pushed my worries away so I could be more present with my grandma. We joked about my mom and her takeout addiction and she asked me about Prison Guard Emmanuel and his Timer of Doom.
I rolled my eyes as I turned onto the street that led to my apartment. “You don’t wanna know.”
The manicured mini-lawns outside my building came into view and guilt hollowed my stomach. I should have gone straight to the restaurant instead of ambushing her with my side-quest, but it was too late to undo that mistake. I was committed, for better or worse. Something told me to expect the worst.
Nan peered out the window and narrowed her eyes. “I thought we were going to lunch.”
“We are.” My smile, cranked to one billion watts, blinded even me. I dialed it back, aiming for sweet and caring instead of crazed but loving kidnapper.
“Then why are we at your apartment?” Her eyes narrowed even more, her head cocking.
I’d been busted in a big way.
“I…uhh…” Panic erased any viable explanation, reducing my mind to a buzz of “oh shit oh shit oh shit.” “…just thought I’d show you around.”
With a slow nod, she pursed her lips. “I have been here before, you know.”
“But not recently. I got some new things.”
It was a low-quality dodge and Nana Maxine had a high-quality brain.
She flared her hands and said nothing.
Never a good sign.
We parked and I chattered about anything that came to mind as I led my grandmother to the concrete steps in front of my apartment. Beside us, my neighbors—a young couple I barely spoke to—grunted and groaned up the walk, hauling a giant box toward their door. They rested the edge of the monstrous package on their front step and the guy…I thought his name was Jake. And her name was…Pauline? Paulette? Pollyanna? It started with a P, I was sure…
Anyway, he lifted a hand, eyes glinting. “Hey, neighbor!”
“Hey, yourself!” For my grandmother’s benefit, I waved like he was my best friend. See? the gesture said. Apartment living means you’re never alone!
Nan smiled as we entered my home. “They seem nice enough.”
I bobbed my head. “As far as neighbors go, I really lucked out. Those two always sound like they’re having so much fun.” Read: they had raucous parties and loud sex. “And I never see the guy beside me. Like, ever.”
Like, ever ever.
If it wasn’t for the fact that sometimes his car wasn’t in his space, I’d wonder if he was dead.
I extended my arms in my spacious living room, doing my best not to look like I was selling her on the glories of apartment living, even though I was totally selling her on the glories of apartment living.
“And there’s a pool, which I love.”
That wasn’t a complete fib. While I didn’t have time to lounge in front of the water, I’d love it if I did.
“And the workout facility is great.”
Or so I assumed. I’d never been there. Though, given my fast food addiction, I probably needed to consider a visit.
“But the best part is that I’m surrounded by people. Come on. Let me show you the kitchen!” I waved her toward the room in question with a used car salesman grin.
Nan rooted her feet in place, her arms crossed over her stomach, her face informing me