obstinately, my face turned in the other direction.
“Gemma, can you look at me, please?”
“No!” I said. My lower lip was trembling now. I felt his fingers on my chin and he turned my face to look at him. I glared at him through narrowed eyes. “What?” I said.
“Why are you crying, Gemma?”
“I’m not crying.”
“Are you upset that we just had sex?” He sounded concerned.
“No. I admit it. I’m not.”
“And did you like that we just had sex?”
“It was fine.” I rolled my eyes.
“What do you mean it was fine? Did you enjoy it?”
“Yes, I enjoyed it, okay? What do you want me to say? I like having sex with you.”
“You like having sex with me, do you?” A half-smile hit his face and I nodded.
“Yeah, so what?”
“You’re funny. You know that, girl?”
“Yay. I’m funny. Maybe I can be a comedian.”
“Not funny like that. You’re just different. You’re smart, you’re beautiful, you’re honest. You listen. And you know what? I like you.”
“Okay. You just told me that before. Yay, you like me.”
“No, Gemma. I don’t think you understand. I really like you.”
I looked at him, trying to figure out exactly what he was trying to say. My heart started to race slightly. Did he like me, like me? “I don’t know what that means, Connor,” I said, a little bit of hope lighting up my heart.
“It means” —he lightly touched my lips— “that I like you and I want to be in a relationship with you.”
“Okay, what? An open relationship with me and your brother?”
“Fuck, no,” he said. “If Lucas lays another hand on you, I will punch him and knock him out,” he said, a deep threat in his voice. “Do you understand that, Gemma?”
“Do I understand?” Why sort of a surly attitude?
“Do you understand that I don’t want you to be with Lucas again?”
“Um, you can’t tell me what I can or can’t…”
“Shh!” he said as he pressed his lips against mine. “Do you like me, Gemma? Be honest now.”
“Yes, I like you,” I said after a few seconds, feeling my face blush.
“Do you like me, like me?”
“What do you mean, do I like you, like you?”
“Like, do you like me like you want me to be your boyfriend? Be honest now, okay?”
“I’m always honest,” I said under my breath.
“Gemma.”
“Yes, I like you. I want you to be my boyfriend. I admit it, finally.”
“Good,” he said. “Because I want to be your boyfriend.”
“Okay. What does that mean? I mean, yay, you’re my boyfriend, but what does that mean?”
“Oh, Gemma,” he said and he groaned. He ran his hands through my hair. “I’ve made a mess of all of this, haven’t I?”
“I don’t understand what you mean. What have you made a mess of?”
“I joined this dating service because my grandparents paid for it for me and my brother. They wanted us to find partners because they wanted us to get married and they wanted us to have kids. Lucas was all for it because that’s always been his life goal, and I couldn’t care less about any of that. It’s never been a part of any plans I’ve ever had for my life.” He shrugged. “That’s just the way it is. And I met girls and I’m sure Lucas met girls, and we went about our lives. And it was fine, it was fun. Had some fun. And then I met you.”
“And?” I said, looking at him.
“And you are this beautiful, spunky, funny, intelligent girl and you blew me away.”
“I blew you away? Really?”
“Really, Gemma. You blew me away, and I said to myself, ‘I want to see this girl again. I want to take her on another date. I want to kiss her. I want to fuck her. I just want to be with her.’”
“Okay, and?”
“And then I saw you again.”
“Okay.
“And it was awesome. And then you had me go and have drinks with you and your friends.”
“Yeah, and you left because you were uncomfortable because my friends were questioning you about your intentions toward me.”
“Do you know why I left, Gemma?”
“I know why you left. Because you said you wanted to be honest because you weren’t looking for a relationship and you felt uncomfortable.”
“That’s what I told you. That’s not why I left.”
“Okay, then why did you leave, Connor?”
“I left because as Harry was telling me off and questioning me, I realized that I appreciated the fact that he was looking out for you, and I realized that all my intentions for you were of the purest