was all natural, it was all Connor. I reached down and grabbed my phone from my bag and looked at the screen. I had five more text messages from Lucas saying that he’d been thinking of me and hoped I had a fun Christmas.
I didn’t know what to say, but I knew I had to say something. I texted him back quickly.
Gemma: Thanks, had a really fun Christmas with my family. Sorry about the late response, my battery died.
I bit on my lower lip as I pressed send. I hated lying. But what else was I going to say, “Hey, sorry, I didn’t text you back. I was in bed with another man fucking him?” Yeah, right. He’d love that. I could feel my face going cold. As I thought about what I’d done. Yes, I had fallen for Connor and yes, I enjoyed being with him, but I really liked Lucas as well and being intimate with him had felt nice too. I was so confused, I didn’t know what to think. Who was I?
“Two grilled cheeses coming up soon,” I could hear Connor shouting to me from the kitchen.
“Hurry, I’m hungry!” I shouted back, happy. My phone pinged again and I looked down, it was Lucas.
Lucas: Are you home now then? Want to chat?
I stared at the screen. Fuck. I had no idea what to say to him. I wasn’t home and I couldn’t chat. I could say I was going to bed because I was really tired but then what if he still wanted to talk for five minutes? I couldn’t risk that. I couldn’t be on the phone with him and Connor was right there. What if he heard Connor’s voice? What if Connor heard his voice? In that moment I knew I was not the sort of person that could be in a love triangle like this. The crazy part was it wasn’t even really a love triangle. Neither guy really knew about the other. Though, granted, neither one had asked me if I was actively dating another guy. And if they had asked, I didn’t know what I would say. I mean, yeah, of course I would say I was seeing other guys. They both knew that, but if they had asked the real nitty-gritty questions, if they’d asked how physical are you being with the other guys, I didn’t know what I’d say.
I mean, Connor knew now that I wasn’t having sex with anyone else, which was true. But what if I’d said, “Yeah, I’m sore from the sex, but you’re not the only guy that’s had his tongue down there in the last forty-eight hours.” I blushed. Shit. I was really beginning to feel like a slut.
“Here’s your grilled cheese my dear.” Connor walked into the room with a tray in his hand. On the tray was a plate with a grilled cheese sandwich and a small cup of soup. I beamed up at him.
“Thank you, where’s yours?”
“In the kitchen, I’ll go and get it and sit next to you,” he said, and he walked out. I looked at my phone and the text message from Lucas and decided to not respond. I’d text him tomorrow and tell him that I’d fallen asleep. I put my phone back into my bag and leaned back, watching as Connor walked into the bedroom with his own tray. He sat next to me and grabbed a bite of my sandwich and bit into it.
“Hey, what are you doing?” I laughed as I swatted his hand away. “You’ve got your own sandwich.”
“I do, but I like to have a bit of yours as well,” he said with a wink.
“Oh Connor, you’re one of those guys are you?” I said with a grin.
“What do you mean one of those guys? What’s one of those guys?” He said, as he gave me a quick kiss on the lips. I could taste a little piece of cheese as he kissed me and I licked his lips.
“Mm,” he said, as he pulled back from me slightly. “Are you determined not to walk around the lake tonight?”
“What do you mean?” I bat my eyelashes at him. “Why wouldn’t we walk around the lake tonight?”
“Well, if you’re going to kiss me like that, I think it’s going to be very hard for us to leave this bedroom,” he said.
“Now, now Connor, we’re going to eat and then we’re going to walk and then we’re going to come back and sleep and that’s