The Italian's Rightful Bride - By Lucy Gordon Page 0,28
crazy. It was the title. She fancied being a princess. She as good as admitted it eventually.’
‘How long did it take you to see the truth?’
‘Much longer than it should have done. I couldn’t let myself admit that she was greedy, selfish and cold. Which probably makes me a coward.’
His voice was sharp with bitterness and self-mockery.
‘Don’t be so hard on yourself,’ Joanna urged.
‘Why not? Someone should be hard on me for being such a fool. And with you I can be honest because you know the truth that nobody else knows.’
She gazed at him, shocked that everything she had tried to do for him had come to this.
‘But it wasn’t your fault. You wouldn’t be the first man in the world to be taken in.’
‘No, but—here’s the joke—I considered myself being above that sort of thing. After all, I was a Montegiano, a man of pride and position.’
He gave a gruff laugh. ‘Joanna, you have no idea of the stupidity of a boy of twenty-two who’s been raised to think too well of himself. He makes mistake after mistake. The merest country bumpkin would have known better than I did.’
She held her breath, knowing what it must cost him to reveal himself like this, praying not to spoil everything by a clumsy word.
‘You’ve really been through the mill, haven’t you?’ she asked.
He shrugged.
‘Don’t you have friends you can talk to?’
‘There’s nobody I can admit all this to, the way I can to you. You’re the only person in the world who could understand because you saw things nobody else saw. We haven’t seen each other for twelve years, yet in an odd way you know me better than anyone alive.’
He passed his hand over his eyes.
‘Perhaps that’s why I came running after you. I need to be with you, talk to you, even lean on you. That isn’t very dignified, I know—’
‘Why does it have to be dignified?’ she said urgently. ‘Why can’t you ask for my help if you need it? I’m your friend, Gustavo, and if my friendship can help you then it’s there.’
She took his hand. ‘Talk to me, Gustavo. Tell me all the things you’ve been hiding away under that tightly buttoned-down exterior of yours. Because if you don’t let them out soon, you’ll go crazy.’
Joanna had a sudden sense of standing at a crossroads, of being given back the chance she’d overlooked years ago: the chance to be the friend he badly needed.
It wasn’t love. It might even stand in the way of love. But it was what he craved from her, and she would not fail him.
‘Tell me,’ she said softly. ‘When did it start to go wrong? You were so happy at first.’
‘At first I thought I’d landed in heaven. She seemed the perfect wife, beautiful, loving, always looking for ways to please me. My vanity was so colossal that I accepted that as natural.’
‘Why shouldn’t you?’ she burst out indignantly. It hurt her to hear him put himself down. ‘If you love someone you do want to please them, because when they’re happy, you’re happy. Wasn’t it that way with you too?’
‘Yes,’ he said. ‘I loved finding ways to give her pleasure. That’s why we went to Las Vegas. All I wanted was some quiet place where I could be alone with her, but she didn’t like quiet places. She wanted excitement. I always knew we were different in that way, but I thought the love would help us overcome that.’
‘But it didn’t?’
‘How can it when it’s all on one side?’ he asked quietly.
‘But she did love you once.’
‘Did she? Even now I wish I could believe it. I suppose she loved me well enough when she got her own way, but I started to realise that I was always the one to yield.
‘For a while even that didn’t matter. She got pregnant and I was thrilled. Yes, I wanted a son, I don’t deny it. And when it was a girl, I was disappointed—for about five minutes. Then I saw how gorgeous she was and I forgot all about wanting a son.
‘As she grew older I loved her more, because she’s so like my mother. She looks like her, she has her mental sharpness, and her stubbornness.’ He gave a wry laugh. ‘Mamma also saw the world in her own way, and you could point out the facts until you were blue in the face.’
‘But Renata’s a child,’ Joanna reminded him. ‘She’ll understand in time.’
‘You wouldn’t say that if you’d