It Sounded Better in My Head - Nina Kenwood Page 0,76
it would be fun for both of us,’ he says.
‘Well, haven’t you heard, I’m not a fun person.’
‘Natalie.’ He sounds tired. Like I’m an exhausting, annoying toddler that he has to babysit.
‘Don’t treat me like I’m a burden,’ I say. My panic from before has turned into a hot anger.
‘Don’t treat me like I’m torturing you!’ he says, standing up.
‘Well I hate every second of being here,’ I say. I stand up as well, because I don’t like the feeling of him looking down at me.
‘Then go.’ Alex says.
‘Maybe this whole thing is a mistake,’ I say, because I’m not finished being angry.
‘Maybe it is,’ he says.
‘By whole thing, I mean us. Being together.’ There I am, being like Dad, unable to stop myself from hammering the point home.
‘I know what you mean,’ Alex says.
We are staring at each other, both of us breathing hard. Arguing with my parents, or even with Zach and Lucy, I know what direction they’ll go in, what they’re likely to say, the buttons they’ll push, the zigs and zags they’ll take. But Alex is different. The ways I am vulnerable are different, and I can’t predict what he might say.
Also, even now, even when I’m super mad at him, I find him attractive. Which makes me even madder.
I turn and start walking away.
‘Wait,’ he says, and I’ll give him credit for saying that, because it’s vitally important to my sense of self that when I storm away from a boy I like, he says ‘wait’.
‘No,’ I say, not turning around, which is what I always pictured myself doing in this scenario and I’m proud of myself for not even looking over my shoulder.
30
Meltdown
I am holding my phone in my hand, about to call an Uber—on the verge of tears but too angry to be upset (that stage will come later, when I’m safe in bed)—when Lucy’s name pops up on my screen, calling me. Thank god. She’s exactly the person I need to talk to.
‘Natalie.’ Her voice is wobbly. It sounds strange.
‘Luce?’
‘Can you come and get me?’ She’s drunk. She’s slurring almost every word. I’ve seen Lucy drunk before, but the way she sounds now—it sends a little cold shiver down my spine.
‘Where are you?’
‘I don’t know.’
‘Are you with Zach? Where’s Zach?’
‘I was with him. But I don’t know where he is now.’ She gives a small, pitiful sob. ‘Please, come and get me.’
‘I will.’
‘Please. I need you!’
‘I will, Lucy. Just tell me where you are and what’s going on.’
‘I don’t know where I am.’ (Snuffling crying noises.)
‘Can you go to Google Maps on your phone and see your current location?’
‘No!’ (Tearful hiccup.)
‘Lucy, please just do this one thing. The app is right there on your home screen. Just the suburb, even.’
‘All right, all right.’
There’s the sound of scrabbling around. A long silence. A clattering sound and some swearing. Then more silence. Finally, Lucy is back on the phone.
‘Brunswick.’
‘Okay, good. That’s a great start.’
‘Please come and get me.’ Every word is stretched a little bit too long.
‘Where in Brunswick?’
‘On a street.’
‘You need to give me a bit more.’
‘Come and get me, please!’ She’s yelling now, and I’m so panicked I almost drop the phone, but then she starts laughing.
‘What’s so funny?’
‘I’ve lost my shoes!’
‘Okay, I’m coming. Lucy, I’m hanging up, but I’ll call you back soon, okay?’
‘I found my shoes!’
‘Great. Lucy? When you see me calling you, answer, okay?’
‘I love you.’
‘I love you too.’
I hang up and call Zach. It goes straight to voicemail. I call twice more, to be sure. I think about calling my mum, but it feels like a betrayal of Lucy to let a parent see her in this state. I’ll have to get a cab or an Uber, but I might need to drive around the streets looking for her. I cringe at the thought of how expensive it could get.
I’m walking through the front yard of the fluro party house, deep in thought, and don’t notice until it’s too late that I’m about to walk into someone. I slam into their back, getting a mouthful of shiny black hair.
‘Ow.’ The person turns around and it’s Vanessa. Of course it’s Vanessa.
‘Sorry, sorry.’ I duck my head and keep going. I must look distraught because Vanessa walks beside me as I hurry on.
‘Hey, are you okay?’
‘Yes. I’m fine.’
‘I know you,’ she says.
‘No, you don’t.’
‘Yeah, I do. You’re Alex’s new girlfriend.’
Now I look at her. ‘Who told you that?’
She grins at me. ‘Oh, everyone’s talking about it.’