It Sounded Better in My Head - Nina Kenwood Page 0,33

while everyone else is off having mind-blowing sex. I’ll be on my deathbed still thinking about the one time a guy was kind of nice to me.

‘I’m going for a walk,’ I say, mostly because I feel obliged to make a show of leaving them alone so they can kiss at midnight.

‘The fireworks are about to start,’ Lucy says.

‘I’ll be back.’

‘Don’t be a martyr. We are counting down together. All three of us. No arguments,’ Zach says.

‘Fine.’

I stand up, and we all look at the sky together. I’m torn between feeling like a charity case and feeling like I have the best two friends in the world. The crowd counts down from ten, everyone cheers at zero, and the fireworks begin.

‘Wooooooo,’ Zach yells, running to the water, leaping goofily until he’s waist deep and then diving under fully clothed.

‘Come in,’ he yells.

Swimming in the dark seems like a sure-fire way to get eaten by sharks, but this might be my one opportunity to go swimming in clothes without feeling ridiculous. I figure there are enough people out there that if a shark came past, the odds are reasonably good I wouldn’t be the one chomped.

Lucy runs into the water, and I follow her. It’s colder than I am ready for, and I edge my way in, until I reach Zach and Lucy.

‘Let’s all say three things we like about each other to start the new year,’ Lucy says, as we stand shoulder-deep in the water. She suggests stuff like this all the time. She says a group therapist her family once went to made them play ‘feel-good games’, as he called them, and now Lucy is kind of addicted. Sometimes Zach and I play along, and sometimes we don’t.

‘Lucy is kind, generous and caring. Natalie is funny, smart and interesting,’ Zach says quickly, swimming in slow strokes with his head out of the water.

‘Interesting,’ I scoff.

‘What’s wrong with interesting?’ Zach says.

‘It’s a placeholder word,’ I say, flicking a bit of water at him when he swims by me.

‘A placeholder for what?’ he says, scrunching his face when my flicks of water hit him.

‘Weird. Unpopular.’

‘It is not. Interesting is the highest compliment I can give,’ Zach says, standing up and pushing his hair out of his eyes.

‘I think you can do better.’

‘Well, you say yours and let’s see if you can do better.’

‘Why do you guys always ruin my game?’ Lucy says.

‘We can’t help it,’ Zach says.

‘It’s in our nature to ruin things. Hey, that can be one for you, Zach—excellent at ruining things.’

‘That’s a very undervalued quality,’ he says, grinning.

I dive under the water, trying not to think about sharks, rise to the surface and dive under again. Last year, I spent New Year’s Eve with my parents, doing what had become our tradition over the years: eating fancy cheese and watching old movies. As much as I love Zach and Lucy, and as happy as I am to be with them right now, a part of me can’t help thinking about how I’ll never, ever have another New Year’s Eve like that with my parents again.

I float on my back for a while and watch the last of the fireworks burst across the sky. My ears are under the water, so it’s a silent, colourful explosion surrounded by stars. I could stay like this forever.

10

Humiliating Things

It’s 2am, and I jolt awake at the sound of the front door creaking open. Everyone is back at the house and in bed, and I’ve been asleep for about half an hour. After coming home, showering, dumping our wet clothes in the washing machine, and saying goodnight to everyone, Zach and I secretly switched rooms.

I’m currently alone in the downstairs bedroom that’s closest to the front door, and I’m scared. Why didn’t I think of the risks of bed-swapping? I’ll be the first person murdered because of Zach and Lucy’s horniness. The front door creaks closed, and I pull the blankets over my head. Dear God or Whoever Might Be Listening, don’t let me die before I learn how to drive. Don’t let me die before I launch my podcast series about current teens watching old teen shows from the nineties. Don’t let me die before I get to travel somewhere, anywhere, outside of Australia. Don’t let me die before I have an orgasm with someone other than myself. Don’t let me, don’t let me die, don’t let me die—

There are footsteps headed towards the bedroom door. When is the appropriate time for