The Introvert's Guide to Online Dating - Emma Hart Page 0,19

back of her neck, not even trying to hide her awkwardness now. “I really need some help, and I know you were going to buy it for Felicity, so I was wondering if you could spare her occasionally to help me.”

Johanna’s lips curved. “Why, Piper, are you trying to steal my daughter?”

“No! No, I—” Piper’s eyes were wide and shocked.

“Kidding.” Johanna roared with laughter. “Darling, if you want to hire my daughter, you have my permission. It’s getting hot around here with us clashing heads, so you’d be doing me a favor. I’m sure she’d much rather work with you anyway.”

“Oh.” Piper blinked. “Are you—are you sure?”

“Positive. Trust me. If you give me your number, I’ll have her call you and you can talk about it.” Johanna slid a pad and pen across to her.

Piper scribbled it down and passed it back. “Thank you. I really appreciate that.”

“Not half as much as I do.” She winked. “Go and sit down. I’ll be over in a minute to take your orders.”

We went to an empty table near the window and pulled the chairs out to sit down.

“See, that wasn’t so bad, was it?” I asked, plucking the menus from the holder like I didn’t already know that it was meatball sub day. “She didn’t mind at all.”

Piper made a noncommittal noise. “I hate it when you’re right.”

“So does everyone else. It’s why I’m so glad it happens so often.” I handed London a menu with a whimsical smile. “Gives me at least a day’s peace and quiet after it happens.”

London giggled. “You’ll get no peace and quiet here.” She nodded toward the door where Colton and Josh were about to walk in.

“Ohhh.” I leaned forward and dropped my forehead to the table. “You have got to be kidding me.”

I hadn’t replied to Colton’s text that he’d sent on Saturday morning. I was steadfastly ignoring him, mostly because I could. I wasn’t even that annoyed anymore. Having to use a brush to clear your sofa of cat fur was very therapeutic.

I just didn’t want to talk to him right now.

If I’d learned anything this weekend, it was that I wasn’t going to get away with not dating anymore, and in order to date properly, I had to call it quits with him.

The problem was that I didn’t really want to do that.

There was a romantic living inside me that believed that maybe our booty calls could become something more.

The realist thought the romantic was an idiot.

I was inclined to agree with the inner realist.

They were usually the right ones. At any rate, realists were naturally rather pessimistic, and the great thing about being a pessimist was that you were never really that surprised if something went wrong.

Great surprise if it went right, though.

“Fraternizing with the enemy?” Josh asked, pulling up a chair.

“Yes, please join us,” Piper deadpanned. “And no, I’m eating lunch. I’m allowed to each lunch that I didn’t make.”

“What’s wrong with her?” Colton asked, presumably referring to me.

I had no idea.

I was still up close and personal with the tabletop.

“A slightly late quarter-life crisis,” London replied slowly. “That, or it’s her period.”

Both.

It was both.

“And now I’m not hungry,” Colton said flatly.

“Serves you right for asking.” I sat up and glared at him through my hair. “Since when did you care what’s wrong with me?”

Josh nodded slowly, plucking the menu from his sister’s hand. “I’m gonna say it’s a crisis and the period.”

“Ding ding ding, we have a winner,” I muttered and reached for my coffee.

“What did I win?”

“Nothing.” I sipped. “I’m having a crisis and I’m on my period. Why should you win anything when I’m positively miserable?”

He smiled. “It’s always so good to see you, Tori.”

“I know. I’m a little ray of sunshine.”

“Created by Satan himself,” Colt muttered, sitting next to London. “Did you order yet?”

“No, and now I don’t think I’m going to. I can make a sandwich at home.”

He gave me a flat look. “Jesus Christ. You need a nap.”

“I’m not a toddler.”

“Then stop acting like one.”

“What can I say? You bring out the brat in me.”

London looked between us. “Anyone have the number for a doctor? I think I have whiplash.”

“Welcome to my life.” Josh didn’t look up from the menu. “Are you ready to order? I’ll call Johanna.”

Piper stared at him. “So you’re staying? You’re not going to take the hint that this was a nice, quiet lunch before you showed up?”

“No.” He smiled at her and waved Johanna over.

She looked at me and Colton.