The Introvert's Guide to Online Dating - Emma Hart Page 0,12
of each title spells out a word.”
“I have no idea what that is.”
He pulled his cell out of his pocket, swiped a few times, then turned the screen to me.
Well, it was what he’d said it was.
“Right. And you’re going to spell out… Sorry, you’re stuck with me forever?”
“Dickhead,” he muttered. “No, the proposal.”
“That’s cute. For her,” I acquiesced. “But what if she doesn’t get it?”
Josh opened his mouth to respond, then froze.
“It makes sense, but what if she doesn’t see it and you have to explain it?”
He blinked at me. “I guess I’ll just drop to one knee and do it normally.”
“Why not just do that anyway?”
“I’m trying to make it special. Am I overcomplicating things?”
“Yes.”
“You’re supposed to tell me I’m not.”
“Dude. You’re talking about proposing to my little sister.” I leaned forward and met his eyes. “You could toss that question out in the fuckin’ bread aisle and she’d say yes. She loves you, and she’s going to say yes to you no matter how or when you ask her. So yeah, you’re overcomplicating the shit out of it.”
He buried his face in his hands. “You’re right. But she reads all that romantic shit in her books and just last week she read one where the guy proposed in a helicopter. A helicopter. And she was literally fucking crying as she was reading. How am I supposed to compete with that?”
“Skywriting?”
“Be realistic, Colton.”
“I am.” I leaned back, reaching my arms in front of me and clasping my fingers to stretch. “That’s about all that can top that, but I already know you can’t afford it.”
“You’re supposed to be helpful.”
“I am being helpful. Josh, you’re holding yourself to an impossible standard. Her books are fiction, man. They aren’t real. Most real guys don’t do half the shit that’s in those books. Because it’s fantasy.” I raised my eyebrows. “You can’t compete with that. That’s the damn truth. So stop thinking about what she’d like in a book and what she’d like you to do.”
“What’s he crying about now?” Kai asked, joining us at the table.
“Proposing to my sister,” I replied.
“And you were obviously the correct person to come to,” Josh said dryly. “Very helpful.”
“Ask him, then. He’s the one who’s married. He’ll give you better advice than me.” I shrugged, gesturing toward Kai. “Tell him what you just told me.”
Josh did, almost word for word.
Just as I’d suspected, Kai snorted, and repeated what I had. “You can’t compete with the books. And you shouldn’t even try.”
“Exactly what I said.”
Josh sighed. “I’m overthinking this.”
“She’d say yes to you in the bread aisle,” Kai continued.
“I said that, too.” I uncapped my water bottle.
“Don’t be a bitch, Colton.” Kai smirked at me. “Shouldn’t you be fraternizing with your online friends?”
That killed my mood. “Don’t you start, too.”
“Online friends?” Josh paused. “Ah, right. She told you. For what it’s worth, I told her to stop, but she wouldn’t listen.”
“No, you didn’t.”
“You’re right. I didn’t. And she’s not going to stop.”
I looked at Kai. “How did you know?”
“We were in the store yesterday getting some books for Tegan. Kid can’t read, but what do I know?” He shrugged and popped open his bag of chips. “Kinsley and Ivy were talking about it. She’s determined to get you dating.”
I grunted. It seemed like everyone but me was in on it. “Not happening.”
“I told them that, but they weren’t in a listening mood. That’s why my kid has forty books before she’s a year old.”
“Only forty?”
“I was being conservative,” Kai muttered.
“Of course you were.” I rubbed my hand over my mouth. “Your sister around tonight?”
He shook his head. “Jasmine is watching Tegan and Leo. Dinner is on.”
“Good. I have to get back to work before Jacob kicks my ass.” I balled my trash up in my fist. “Seven?”
“Seven,” they both echoed.
With that, I left the table and headed back to the worksite.
Apparently, this playground was not going to build itself.
CHAPTER FIVE – TORI
rule five: abort. frigging. mission.
My best friends had lost their frigging minds.
That guy was not the one for me.
Not only did he live with his mom, but he’d never lived anywhere other than with her.
Now, that wasn’t a bad thing. I wasn’t someone who discriminated based on someone’s living circumstances, but I was all kinds of done when he told me he had to get back to her because her TV show was about to start and he couldn’t miss it.
The only saving grace was that he’d paid the bar bill.
Needless to say, it