The Intimacy Experiment (The Roommate #2) - Rosie Danan Page 0,116

I walked in on them dry-humping, even though I’ve told her a million times it was the most romantic dry-humping I’ve ever seen.”

Ethan kissed her behind her ear. “I can see why she might not want that particular anecdote shared with her relatives.”

“Well, that makes one of us,” Naomi grumbled.

He let his hands ghost across her rib cage, teasing the sides of her breasts. “You already know my favorite scholarly Jewish position regarding maintaining healthy relationships,” he said, voice just a little rough. “‘Do not hurry in arousing passion. Prolong till she is ready and in a passionate mood. Approach her lovingly and passionately, so that she reaches her orgasm first.’”

Naomi grinned down at him. “I love it when you talk dirty to me.”

Okay, so maybe weddings weren’t so bad after all.

Acknowledgments

Writing this book might be the scariest thing I’ve ever done. It is certainly one of the most rewarding. I could not have pulled it off without the support of the following people and so many others whose words of encouragement, advice, and empathy have kept me going over the last year. I will strive for brevity below, but please know I am full of love and gratitude for you all in ways I cannot adequately express.

Jessica Watterson. Thank you for always making time to listen, even when I’m talking about the same thing I’ve been stressed about for months. Having you in my corner has made me believe in myself—not just as a writer but as a professional in this industry. I’m eternally grateful for your cheerleading, hand-holding, and artfully deployed emails.

Kristine Swartz. Despite my insecurities and reservations, you’ve encouraged this big, bold idea since day one. Thank you for helping me bring this story to readers.

Jessica Mangicaro, Jessica Brock, and the entire crew at Berkley. Has anyone ever had such a fun, creative, hardworking team? I think not! Thank you for bringing so much energy and enthusiasm to your work. I feel lucky every time I get an email from any of you.

Vasya Kolotusha. Thank you for the beautiful cover art. You’ve brought these characters I love so fiercely to life.

My Slack found family. When they talk about the power of a writing community, they’re talking about you. Every day you inspire me, you delight me, you surprise me, and you move me. Finding and keeping you has been the greatest gift.

Karen Averill. For so many reasons, I could not have done this without you. You showed up for me again and again over the course of development for this project. Your knowledge and passion have made these pages more honest and more powerful. I hope reading this makes you at least a little bit proud.

Heather Moran. One of the most brilliant (and busiest) people I know. I’m incredibly grateful that you found time to read this story early and provide invaluable feedback. I have always looked up to you, and it is an honor to have your influence touch this story.

Rachel Lynn Solomon. You changed my entire relationship to this book with your reading and response. I don’t think I can ever convey what that meant to me. You’re so special. Thank you for being my friend.

Felicia Grossman. Your early support and incisive close reading of this work helped me draw out important nuance. Your passion for Jewish stories not only helped encourage me to write this book but also helps push the entire romance genre toward more inclusivity.

Sonia Hartel. You GOT The Intimacy Experiment in ways I had previously only dreamed it could connect with an audience. I’m so glad we made that deal to forever exchange work. I love laughing with and learning from you.

Lyssa Smith. My alpha reader. You looked at that first messy draft and said Keep going. You’ve got this, and even though I wasn’t convinced, as usual, it turns out you were right.

Denise Williams. The dictionary defines friendship . . . No, but really, you are just the best. Smart, kind, compassionate, and SO FREAKIN’ FUNNY. You have hyped me up and talked me off the ledge. I’m amazed by you—by what you accomplish, by your Goodness, by your effort. I’m grateful for you on good days and bad days and every day in between.

Ruby Barrett and Meryl Wilsner. I could write a lot about how you believe in me. How it keeps me going. How it lets me strive and fail and flourish. But for today, I will write about how you believed in Naomi. How you pushed me to give her the story she deserves. How you never doubted she would find her readers. How you have yelled—with and at me—about your love for her in ways that make her feel larger than these pages. This is her story and my story and our story. It is a privilege to create at your side.

My family. Moments collected from a lifetime of our discussions around faith, heritage, and history have found their way into this work. The exploration of these themes through art has challenged me and given me so much catharsis and joy and hope. Thank you for raising me to question and to analyze and to believe.

Micah Benson. It’s hard to find the words (yes, I realize the words are my job). I know the universe is indifferent, but our love makes me feel like it isn’t.

READERS GUIDE

THE

Intimacy

EXPERIMENT

ROSIE DANAN

Questions for Discussion

A core theme of The Intimacy Experiment is the concept of personal identity and how we reconcile who we have been, who we are, and who we would like to become. Do you feel you have or have had multiple identities over the course of your lifetime? If so, how do those roles intersect and/or challenge one another?

Naomi has made herself hard in response to the reception she’s received from the world. Over the course of her relationship with Ethan, she works to make herself softer and more open. How does she go about this, and what obstacles does she encounter? What benefits come from this exercise?

In his role as a rabbi, Ethan sets out to make ancient ideals accessible to modern audiences. What are some of the ways he goes about this? Did his reasoning and approach make sense to you?

Connecting with her Jewish heritage does not come easily to Naomi. Have you ever struggled with any kind of faith? Do you believe this is a worthy endeavor? Why or why not?

Naomi writes the syllabus for Modern Intimacy, but when she and Ethan try to test her hypotheses, they run into challenges. What did you observe from the ways their relationship went off track from the seminar’s structure?

There are many different communities represented in this story: the inclusive sex education community built around Shameless, the Jewish community both at large and specifically at the two synagogues, the community of Naomi’s former high school, and more microcommunities such as Naomi and Ethan’s friends and family circles. How do these spaces facilitate different kinds of belonging and acceptance for the characters in the novel?

From the way they dress to their personalities, Ethan and Naomi are opposites. How do their different worldviews lead to each of their growth? And what do you think their best qualities are? Have you ever dated someone who was your opposite?

Naomi and Ethan are both venturing into new professional territory with their Modern Intimacy seminars. When was the last time you had to go outside your comfort zone, and how did it help you grow professionally or personally?

Naomi’s main takeaway from her lecture on breaking up is to practice self-care. What are your favorite things to do to practice self-care? Are any of her suggestions something you’d like to try?

Throughout the book, Naomi teaches a seminar on modern intimacy for Ethan’s shul. Did her lectures make you realize anything new about your own ideas on modern intimacy? What do you wish more people knew about dating in today’s world?

Photo by Micah Benson

ROSIE DANAN writes steamy, bighearted books about the trials and triumphs of modern love. When not writing, she enjoys jogging slowly to fast music, petting other people’s dogs, and competing against herself in rounds of Chopped using the miscellaneous ingredients occupying her fridge. As an American expat living in London, Rosie regularly finds herself borrowing slang that doesn’t belong to her.

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