at the touch of the poker. Yet it was very warm, and still gave off powerful light. I saw my life in complete perspective
"'And the vampires of the Theatre... : I asked softly.
"'They reflect the age in cynicism which cannot comprehend the death of possibilities, fatuous sophisticated indulgence in the parody of the miraculous, decadence whose last refuge is self-ridicule, a mannered helplessness. You saw them; you've known them all your life. You reflect your age differently. You reflect its broken heart.'
"'This is unhappiness. Unhappiness you don't begin to understand.'
"'I don't doubt it. Tell me what you feel now, what makes you unhappy. Tell me why for a period of seven days you haven't come to me, though you were burning to come. Tell me what holds you still to Claudia and the other woman.'
"I shook my head.'You don't know what you ask. You see, it was immensely difficult for me to perform the act of making Madeleine into a vampire. I broke a promise to myself that I would never do this, that my own loneliness would never drive me to do it. I don't see our life as powers and gifts. I see it as a curse. I haven't the courage to die. But to make another vampire! To bring this suffering on another, and to condemn to death all those men and women whom that vampire must subsequently kill! I broke a grave promise. And in so doing... '
"'But if it's any consolation to you... surely you realize I had a hand in it.'
"'That I did it to be free of Claudia, to be free to come to you... yes, I realize that. But the ultimate responsibility lies with me!' I said.
"'No. I mean, directly. I made you do it! I was near you the night you did it. I exerted my strongest power to persuade you to do it. Didn't you know this?' Woe.
"I bowed my head.
" 'I would have made this woman a vampire,' he said softly.'But I thought it best you have a hand in it. Otherwise you would not give Claudia up. You must know you wanted it....
"'I loathe what I did!' I said.
"'Then loathe me, not yourself.'
"'No. You don't understand. You nearly destroyed the thing you value in me when this happened! I resisted you with all my power when I didn't even know it was your force which was working on me. Something nearly died in me! Passion nearly died in me! I was all but destroyed when Madeleine was created!'
"'But that thing is no longer dead, that passion, that humanity, whatever you wish to name it. If it were not alive there wouldn't be tears in your eyes now. There wouldn't be rage in your voice,' he said.
"For the moment, I couldn't answer. I only nodded. Then I struggled to speak again.'You must never force me to do something against my will! You must never exert such power... ' I stammered.
"'No,' he said at once.'I must not. My power stops somewhere inside you, at some threshold. There I am powerless, however... this creation of Madeleine is done. You are free.'
"'And you are satisfied,' I said, gaining control of myself.'I don't mean to be harsh. You have me. I love you. But I'm mystified. You're satisfied?'
"'How could I not be?' he asked.'I am satisfied, of course.'
Chapter 28
"I stood up and went to the window. The last embers were dying. The light came from the gray sky. I heard Armand follow me to the window ledge. I could feel him beside me now, my eyes growing more and more accustomed to the luminosity of the sky, so that now I could see his profile and his eye on the falling rain. The sound of the rain was everywhere and different: flowing in the gutter along the roof, tapping the shingles, falling softly through the shimmering layers of tree branches, splattering on the sloped stone sill in front of my hands. A soft intermingling of sounds that drenched and colored all of the night.
" To you forgive me... for forcing you with the woman?' he asked.
"'You don't need my forgiveness'
"'You need it,' he said.'Therefore, I need it.' Ids face was as always utterly calm.
"'Will she care for Claudia? Will she endure?' I asked.
"'She is perfect. Mad; but for these days that is perfect. She will care for Claudia. She has never lived a moment of life alone; it is natural to her that she be devoted to her companions. She need not