“Oh, believe me, after today’s meeting, I’m totally current on that.”
3
They got a large pepperoni and Luke demolished half all by himself, along with three glasses of Coke from the jumbo pitcher, leaving his parents to marvel at the kid’s digestive tract and bladder as well as his mind. Luke explained that he had talked to Mr. Greer first because “I didn’t want to freak you guys out. It was your basic exploratory conversation.”
“Putting it out to see if the cat would take it,” Herb said.
“Right. Running it up the flagpole to see who’d salute it. Sticking it on the five-fifteen to see if it gets off at Edina. Throwing it against the wall to see how much—”
“Enough. He explained how we might be able to come with you.”
“You have to,” Luke said earnestly. “I’m too young to be without my exalted and revered mater and pater. Also . . .” He looked at them from across the ruins of the pizza. “I couldn’t work. I’d miss you guys too much.”
Eileen instructed her eyes not to fill, but of course they did. Herb handed her a napkin. She said, “Mr. Greer . . . um . . . laid out a scenario, I guess you might say . . . where we could possibly . . . well . . .”
“Relo,” Luke said. “Who wants this last piece?”
“All yours,” Herb said. “May you not die before you get a chance to do this crazy matriculation thing.”
“Ménage à college,” Luke said, and laughed. “He talked to you about rich alumni, didn’t he?”
Eileen put down the napkin. “Jesus, Lukey, you discussed your parents’ financial options with your guidance counselor? Who are the grownups in this conversation? I’m starting to feel confused about that.”
“Calm down, mamacita, it just stands to reason. Although my first thought was the endowment fund. The Brod has a huge one, they could pay for you to relocate out of that and never feel the pinch, but the trustees would never okay it, even though it makes logical sense.”
“It does?” Herb asked.
“Oh yeah.” Luke chewed enthusiastically, swallowed, and slurped Coke. “I’m an investment. A stock with good growth potential. Invest the nickels and reap the dollars, right? It’s how America works. The trustees could see that far, no prob, but they can’t break out of the cognitive box they’re in.”
“Cognitive box,” his father said.
“Yeah, you know. A box built as a result of the ancestral dialectic. It might even be tribal, although it’s kind of hilarious to think of a tribe of trustees. They go, ‘If we do this for him, we might have to do it for another kid.’ That’s the box. It’s, like, handed down.”
“Received wisdom,” Eileen said.
“You nailed it, Mom. The trustees’ll kick it to the wealthy alumni, the ones who made mucho megabucks thinking outside the box but still love the ol’ Broderick blue and white. Mr. Greer will be the point man. At least I hope he will. The deal is, they help me now and I help the school later on, when I’m rich and famous. I don’t actually care about being either of those things, I’m middle-class to the bone, but I might get rich anyway, as a side effect. Always assuming I don’t contract some gross disease or get killed in a terrorist attack or something.”
“Don’t say things that invite sorrow,” Eileen said, and made the sign of the cross over the littered table.
“Superstition, Mom,” Luke said indulgently.
“Humor me. And wipe your mouth. Pizza sauce. Looks like your gums are bleeding.”
Luke wiped his mouth.
Herb said, “According to Mr. Greer, certain interested parties might indeed fund a relocation move, and fund us for as long as sixteen months.”
“Did he tell you that the same people who’d front you might be able to help find you a new job?” Luke’s eyes were sparkling. “A better one? Because one of the school’s alumni is Douglas Finkel. He happens to own American Paper Products, and that’s close to your sweet spot. Your hot zone. Where the rubber meets the r—”
“Finkel’s name actually came up,” Herb said. “Just in a speculative way.”
“Also . . .” Luke turned to his mother, eyes bright. “Boston is a buyer’s market right now when it comes to teachers. Average starting salary for someone with your experience goes sixty-five thou.”
“Son, how do you know these things?” Herb asked.
Luke shrugged. “Wikipedia, to start with. Then I trace down the major sources cited in the Wikipedia articles. It’s