be his friend and nearly everyone was. Every person invited to his party coveted their invitations and knew he’d treat them all as if he were genuinely pleased they’d managed to make it. He was a people person, through and through.
I saw my parents in the far corner, only lit by the flashes of light coming from the DJ table, talking with Cory’s parents. Our moms were talking to each other while our dads did the same. It was a vision I’d seen my entire life. It was comforting to a point—something I could always count on. But it was also redundant. I wondered if the people I was friends with now—Cory, Holly, and Becca—if that was it for me. I loved them all, but would I ever have more connections with different people? I hated feeling trapped at sixteen, but it was something I was experiencing more and more each day.
I pushed off the wall and started walking toward the doors leading outside, needing a little air. Cory caught my eye and gave me a questioning look, and then signaled that he would come with me. I waved my hand to stop him, then held up all my fingers, mouthing, “five minutes” at him. He nodded, but looked confused. Regardless, he didn’t follow me and I couldn’t help but feel guilty that I was glad to leave him behind. I just needed a moment.
I walked outside and shut the doors behind me, hearing the music quiet, but not the thumping of the bass. I could still feel the beat vibrating through my feet, still hear it as the windows rattled from it. I continued for about ten steps until I was at the edge of the patio, then took in a deep breath, letting it out slowly.
A few minutes later I was almost to the brink of panic, thinking too obsessively about all that had happened in a matter of days, when a harsh wave of music broke through the quiet. I turned to talk to Cory, who I assumed had come to find me, but practically stumbled when I saw it was Hayes instead.
“Kenzie,” he said, obviously surprised to see me. “What are you doing out here all by yourself?” He slowly made his way toward me. He was shrouded in darkness and I couldn’t see his face until he was a step or two away.
“I needed a breather.” I silently hoped he wouldn’t pry.
“I get it” was all he said in response, which made me happy. He came to stand right next to me, but didn’t look at me, facing out toward the green just as I had been before he joined me. So I turned and looked in the same direction. There we stood, in relative silence, with only the faint buzzing of the music behind us. I felt the tension start to drift away, the endless loop of stressful thoughts slow in my mind, and the silent hum of the evening cast some sort of soothing magic over me. It was the most relaxed I’d been in days.
Then, as if he’d been waiting for me to be tricked by his silence, he asked, “So when’s the wedding?”
Instantly, I was on edge again. I knew exactly what he was referring to, but didn’t want him to know that.
“What do you mean?”
“Your and Cory’s wedding. When’s the date? I need some advance notice so I can tell my professors I’ll be out of town.”
“Ha ha.” That was the best response I could produce considering my heart had started beating a million miles an hour.
“No, seriously, Kenzie. You’ve both reached that magical age everyone’s been waiting for. It’s full steam ahead now, right?” The venom in his voice, the disgust that dripped from every word, surprised me. In the sixteen years I’d known Hayes I could remember him being visibly upset so few times, I could count them on one hand. He was aloof, removed, and uninterested in anything having to do with me. His anger toward my would-be relationship with Cory was so shocking, I nearly stumbled.
“I don’t know what’s going to happen,” I whispered, unable to come up with any other answer besides a truthful one.
Hayes turned toward me, coming close enough that I could hear his breath panting out and dragging back in. “Isn’t he what you want? What you’ve always wanted?”
“He’s my best friend.” Again, the truth fell from my lips.