The Insiders (The Insiders Trilogy #1) - Tijan Page 0,101

third. I told her how I couldn’t go on a computer.

All of it. I left nothing out, except the sex.

And I ended by saying, softly, as I moved so I knew she could feel my words on her back, “And I’m pretty sure, not completely, but fairly certain, to a one-hundred-twenty-percent sure, that I’m falling in love with that boyfriend you mentioned.” A deep breath. A painful breath. And I released the rest. “And I’m terrified because, while my father ignores me and Matt lies to me, I don’t know how Kash can hurt me, but I know that if he does, he could shatter me. Shatter, Mom.”

She turned then, big fat sobs rolling down her face.

“Oh, honey. Come here.”

And then I stepped into my mother’s arms, where I should’ve been the entire time.

FORTY-SIX

Chrissy was up before any of us the next morning. She marched over to the main house and had a word with Marie. Somehow, the two had a hashing out of sorts. Neither would tell me what they spoke about, but they did let Quinn and Peter know that my mother was staying.

They didn’t ask. They informed.

There were other words shared. I wasn’t allowed in on that conversation, but I got the gist of it later. Chrissy said it was for the parents. Quinn, Peter, my mother, and Marie were all included. Kash and I weren’t. Not that I was champing at the bit to get in there, but I knew they were talking about me.

My mom had been not happy when I mentioned the part about Peter ignoring me, so I was guessing she wanted to deliver an ass chewing, and I was guessing Marie wanted to be witness to it.

An hour later they came out and the decision was announced.

My mother was here to stay.

Quinn left moments after that for a charity meeting, and the other bit of business was next dealt with. Seraphina and Cyclone were told about my mother, and then about me. No one could have been prepared for their reactions. Cyclone started sprinting around, pumping his fists in the air, his head back, chanting, “Yes to the matriarchy!” Seraphina dissolved into tears.

I’d been nervous about how they would react. Having a fun friend was one thing; having a sister was a whole different thing. At the first sight of Ser’s tears, I almost dropped to the floor. Kash grabbed my arm, holding me up until Seraphina had wiped enough tears aside and came to me. Those thin little arms wrapped tightly around my waist, and she buried her face into my side.

Her words, though. Her words cemented everything.

“I’m so sorry,” she whispered, her nose pressed into my shirt.

“Honey.” I exchanged worried looks with the rest of the women in the room. Quinn was noticeably absent. No shock there, and something I knew my mom had noted, pressing her lips together.

Unwinding Seraphina’s arms, I knelt down so we were face-to-face. Or closer to equal level, because now she towered over me. She’d had a recent growth spurt that I was just catching on to.

“Ser? What are you sorry about?”

“How you must’ve felt.” Her eyes were decidedly not looking at me. She was biting her lip. Her head folded low and she was bunching her shirtsleeve over her hand, tucking back some hair that wasn’t there. Her hair was perfectly swept back in a bun. Looked too tight for her head, to be honest.

“Felt?”

Her head lowered even more, almost falling to my shoulder. I could barely make out her next words.

“Us not knowing. You … We love you already.” Her eyes lifted, meeting mine. Tears lined them. She was still whispering, but with renewed vigor. “You being our sister, now we can love you more. Should’ve loved you like that from the start. We didn’t know.” Her eyes fell to the ground again. Her voice hitched on a sob. “I’m sorry we didn’t know.”

She felt bad for me, for them not knowing.

Done. Everything was done for me then. I had fallen in love with my siblings before, but now I was even more in love. Chrissy and I were never leaving. School be damned. Well, not school and life in general, because I couldn’t only be here.

She sniffled, and I promptly lost my resolve.

I was never leaving this little girl’s side. Bring us bunk beds, because I was moving in. To infinity and beyond infinity.

“Oh, Ser.” That’s all I could get out. A huge slobbering lump formed in my throat, blocking me from