Insatiable (Steel Brothers Saga #12) - Helen Hardt Page 0,33
cutting.
It had been my outlet, my way to stay sane when thinking about what my conception had cost my middle brother. Now, I wanted desperately to stop. Go cold turkey. Be strong enough not to need the security blanket.
Yes, I wanted perfection.
I wanted to be able to not need that stupid blade.
“You’re berating yourself,” Melanie said. “I can see it on your face.”
I couldn’t help a soft laugh. “You’re good.”
The nurse came in before Mel could respond. “How did he do?”
“Hard to say,” Mel said, “but he latched on well. I sure felt that.”
“You’ll get used to that. It’s painful for the first couple days. Right now, you’re only producing colostrum. Wait until your milk comes in. Then he’ll be feasting.” She took the baby into her arms. “Better get him back to NICU.”
Melanie simply smiled. “Thank you.”
Once the nurse had left, I said, “You’re a doctor. You know all about colostrum, right?”
“Yeah, I do.”
“Does it bug you when medical professionals tell you things you already know?”
“Not really. They’re just doing their jobs.”
“That would drive me nuts,” I said.
“That’s because your brothers constantly do that to you.” Melanie laughed.
I joined in her laughter. “You really are good.”
“I just know the Steel men,” she said. “I know how they treat you. But they truly do it out of love, Marj.”
“I know. It’s still annoying, though. Sometimes they talk about me like I’m not even in the same room.”
“I’d like to say they’re going to change…”
“But you don’t want to lie to me.”
“No.” She laughed again. “I don’t.”
I sighed. “I love them all. I do.”
“I know. And they adore you. Why do you think they’re so protective? Jonah was mad as a rabid dog when he found out they’d gone after you without him even knowing.”
“They knew he’d want to be here with you.”
“I know. And he would’ve been, but he still wanted to know what was going on.”
“Freaking Steel men,” I said.
“They are forces to be reckoned with,” she agreed, “but they’re also the best men I know.”
“Yeah, me too,” I said. “Plus Bryce. Who treats me the same way, of course.”
“He’s as close to a Steel man as anyone except for the actual Steels. And he loves you very much.”
I smiled. “He does. In truth, I don’t want him to change a bit.”
“That’s true love, then. I wouldn’t change Jonah, either.”
“Good thing,” I said, “because not one of my brothers will ever change who they are.”
“That’s why we love them,” Melanie replied.
Again, the woman was good. She spoke the utter truth.
Driving back to the guesthouse, Bryce filled me in on his and Joe’s visit to Cade Booker and how they ended up pepper-sprayed.
“Apparently Cade is related to a Dominic Booker and an Alessandra Booker,” he said. “We think Dominic James’s real name is Booker.”
“He did say Alex was his twin,” I said. “And they called her Booker at the hospital.”
“She’s going to make a full recovery,” Bryce said.
“That’s good for Colin.”
“Yeah. It is.”
“Bryce…”
“Yeah, baby?”
“I… I was supposed to be the one to cut Alex’s throat. It was my blade.”
“Oh?”
“But I couldn’t. I froze. And then she woke up, and still I couldn’t, so…”
“Colin did it.”
“Yeah. He moved so quickly. Just grabbed the blade from me and sliced his finger open. Then jabbed it into her throat like he didn’t even need to think about it.”
“It’s a good thing he did.”
“Yeah. It is. But why couldn’t I do it?”
“Marj, it’s not a bad thing that you couldn’t harm another human being. That’s a good quality.”
“But this bitch had it coming.”
“She did. Still, don’t punish yourself.”
“I had already motioned for Colin to escape before Alex woke up. But he didn’t. He stayed with me. What if he’d done as I asked? What if—”
“He didn’t. He stayed with you, and he took care of business. That’s a good thing. Don’t torment yourself with the ‘what if’ game. Trust me. I know it well, and it doesn’t lead to anything good.”
I nodded. Bryce had spent the last few months torturing himself over his father.
We didn’t speak again during the drive.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Bryce
Marjorie stopped at the main house to change clothes and see Jade, so I went to the office building to put in a few more hours of work.
At about seven p.m., I decided to head home just as my phone buzzed from the number I’d called earlier.
I couldn’t believe he had the nerve to return my call.
“Hello, Dominic,” I said into the phone. “Dominic Booker.”