sweet and happy image . . . so why did it put a big empty pit in my stomach?
“He’d be a great husband too,” Nina went on. “I mean Holly was clearly not the one, but we’re all holding out hope that the right person is out there. It would have to be someone special. Someone compassionate and understanding for sure. My mother always said being married to a cop was its own kind of job.”
“Noah mentioned that as another reason he’s determined to stay single.”
“Did he?” Nina’s forehead wrinkled. “You know, it was tough for my mom sometimes, but she’d tell you herself it was worth it. I mean, yes, they used to fight—they both had those stubborn Irish temperaments, but there were more good times than bad. And everybody needs a little love at the end of a hard day.”
“Yeah.” But I refused to let myself imagine Noah and I coming home to each other after a hard day—after any kind of day. My feelings for him were already veering into baffling and dangerous territory. If I let my hopes start to rise, I was bound to be disappointed, wasn’t I? He’d told me flat out what he wanted and didn’t want. We’d agreed on no expectations, no promises, no commitments. When he said, I can’t be your boyfriend, I’d replied I that wasn’t looking for one.
It had been the truth at the time. Was it still?
Nina must have sensed my unease. “Listen, forget I said anything. Noah’s personal life is none of my business, and I respect his devotion and loyalty to his family. I wish he didn’t think it had to come at the expense of his own happiness, but he’s stubborn as hell and that’s never gonna change. I’m just glad to see him having a good time with you, that’s all. He deserves it. Now let’s get you rinsed and gorgeous.”
After leaving the salon, we all went home to change, agreeing to meet for cocktails at Low Bar in Traverse City at five. Grateful for the alone time, I locked myself in my room, undressed, and lay down on my bed for a few minutes. I’d had a great day with my sisters and I was looking forward to our evening out, but I couldn’t exactly say I felt relaxed, even after all the luxury spa treatments. Something was gnawing at me, and I didn’t know how to handle it.
Had I changed my mind about what I wanted from Noah? Was I going to be able to leave here on Sunday and forget about the way he made me feel? Was I crazy to even entertain the idea that maybe—maybe—we could be something more than friends?
Or was all the fantastic sex clouding my brain? Could too many orgasms in a matter of days make you nuts? Weren’t there some sort of mind-altering chemicals that your body released when you came that made you feel good? Maybe that’s what this was. And maybe when I left and this weeklong sexcapade was concluded, my brain would go back to normal, and I wouldn’t have these weird feelings anymore. I wouldn’t be questioning things that had already been decided.
Bolting straight up, I decided that’s exactly what the situation was, and I didn’t need to worry about it. Everything was fine. I hopped out of bed, changed into my bachelorette party outfit, did my makeup, and studied my reflection in the mirror.
Sexy black blouse? Check.
Skinny jeans that showed off my butt? Check.
Beautiful lingerie worn just for me? Check.
High heels that hurt to walk in but looked fabulous? Check.
Bombshell salon hair with big, tousled curls that I’d never be able to reproduce on my own? Check.
Eyebrows waxed, eyeliner even, bruise concealed, and lips pink and shiny? Check.
I felt beautiful. Confident. Sexy. I wished Noah could see me.
Stop it, I told myself as I threw a few things in a small black evening bag. You can go one night without him. You’re not a junkie, for heaven’s sake. You don’t need a dick to have a good time. Not even if it’s Noah’s dick. His big, hard, perfect dick that feels so good and makes me come so fast and—
“Meg?”
I opened my eyes and realized I’d stopped halfway down the stairs, my feet on different steps, my hand gripping the banister. And had I just moaned out loud?
At the foot of the staircase, Sylvia stood looking up at me, her expression bemused. “Um, are you okay?”