We walked all the way to the edge of town, then crossed the street and headed east toward the harbor and beach.
She didn’t let go of my hand, and I liked it.
It reminded me of another day, a missed opportunity. If I could do it over again, would I kiss her?
I couldn’t decide.
Ten
Meg
When we reached the sand, Noah took Renzo off the leash and let him run around the empty beach. Right away he found a stick and brought it over to us, wanting to play fetch. Noah threw it for him.
But he didn’t let go of my hand.
My breath was starting to come a little faster. My arms were blanketed in gooseflesh. My knees felt a little weak. I had that crazy urge to kiss him, just like I’d had last night. I just wanted to know what it would be like to feel his lips on mine. I allowed myself a brief From Here to Eternity fantasy, picturing Noah and myself as Burt Lancaster and Deborah Kerr, rolling around in the surf.
Good Lord, Meg. Get a grip.
“It looks so different in the fall, doesn’t it?” I asked, glancing around at the deserted beach. “In the summertime, it’s always so packed.”
“Yeah.”
“Want to walk a little?”
“Sure.”
Still hand in hand, Renzo happily trotting ahead of us, we strolled to the north, the wind in our faces. I pointed at the water. “And right there, lady and gentleman voters, is where the future Sheriff Noah McCormick saved my life.”
Noah shook his head. “God, that was fucking scary.”
“It was.” I squeezed his hand. “I don’t mean to make light of it. I’m grateful every day.”
“I’m just glad I was there and happened to be looking in the right direction.”
“What?” I stopped walking and stared at him. “That’s not what happened at all, Noah. It wasn’t an accident you were looking in the right direction—it was fate!”
He chuckled and adjusted his cap. “Okay.”
I clucked my tongue as we started walking again. “Fine, if you don’t believe me. But I have always known deep down that the universe meant for you to save me.”
“Yeah?”
“Of course! There’s no other way to explain it. We went from being perfect strangers to being the best of friends in a matter of days, didn’t we?”
“I guess.”
“And we’re still close, even though we live far apart and don’t talk every day. I love that about our friendship. I love everything about our friendship. I don’t tell you often enough, but I’m really glad you’re in my life.”
“Jesus, Sawyer. That’s really fucking sappy.”
I laughed. “Well, it’s true! And I’m trying to get better about prioritizing my relationships. Letting people know how much they mean to me.” I nudged him with my elbow. “So how am I doing? Do you feel special and appreciated?”
“Uh, yes. So you can stop now.”
“In a minute.” I tipped my head against his shoulder for a few seconds. We walked until we hit a patch of the shoreline where the sand had been eroded and the waves came right up to the trees. For some reason, I didn’t want to turn around and go back yet. “Want to sit?”
“Okay.”
We dropped down onto the beach a little ways from the water and watched Renzo chase a bird, dig a hole, and fling sand around. No longer holding my hand, Noah sat with his forearms draped over his knees, looking out at the bay. Looked like I had to face the fact that this whole kissing in the surf thing wasn’t going to happen.
In fact, I had to close my eyes and chastise myself. How ridiculous could I be? If he hadn’t tried anything when he was seventeen and all jacked up on adolescent hormones, he certainly wasn’t going to do it now that he was older and more mature. I had to face reality—he simply didn’t look at me like that.
And maybe it was better this way. But still . . .
“Can I ask you a question?” I ventured, the wind blowing my hair all around my face.
“If I say no, will you ask it anyway?”
I thought for a moment as I gathered it over one shoulder. “No. I won’t. Because it’s personal.”
He exhaled. “Go ahead and ask. There’s not much I don’t tell you.”