I’d cause something bad to happen. Or that I’d go to hell.”
“But you did it anyway.”
He nodded. “Oh yeah. Every night.”
We laughed, and then sat there for a minute or two in silence, the sky growing darker. It was funny, we’d talked about girls he’d liked and boys I’d had crushes on during our teenage phone conversations, but we’d never gotten into details about sexual exploits. At the time, either I was too shy to ask or possibly didn’t really want to know. Sex stuff used to scare me. But now I was curious. And kinda turned on. “What about your first time?”
“You mean sex?”
“Yeah.” I looked over at him. He had a great profile, with a strong, masculine jawline.
“I was a senior. She was a junior. My parents’ basement.”
His parents’ basement. Where we used to sit and watch TV. Envy tightened my gut. “Was it good?”
He winced. “It was fast.”
“Mine was too. Freshman year of college. His dorm room. It smelled like socks and Abercrombie and Fitch cologne.” I wrinkled my nose at the memory.
Noah smirked. “Sounds about right.”
I paused, wanting to ask a question, but nervous it was going too far. In the end, curiosity won out. “What about Holly?”
“What about her?”
“Was it good? The sex?”
He shrugged. “You know. Potato salad.”
I tipped my head onto the back of the bench and laughed. “Yeah. I know exactly.”
Seven
Noah
When Meg started to shiver, we walked back to my car. I was tempted to put my arm around her but refrained. In the past, I probably would have just done it, but there was something different about tonight that made me hesitate to touch her.
You want her too much. That’s what.
I tried to silence the voice in my head by clearing my throat, and I stuck my restless hands into my front pockets. I shouldn’t have made the joke about the blowjob at the table. Or told her I jerked off every night as a teenager. Now I had sex on the brain, and Meg was a little too tempting tonight. Too cute. Too familiar. Too easy to talk to.
And too unaware . . . she had no idea what she did to me. What she’d always done to me. Watching her lick that ice cream cone was fucking murder on my self-control.
On the short drive back to my house, I was silent, which was fine, because Meg talked a mile a minute about everything she had to do this week and all the wedding shit going on. I listened with half my brain while the other half continued listing all the reasons it would be a terrible idea to invite her in.
You’ll end up touching her. You’ll end up kissing her. You’ll end up fucking her. You’ll ruin this friendship, this amazing, nearly two-decade-long friendship just because you like the way she sucks barbecue sauce off the bone and you haven’t gotten laid in so long. Leave her be. Drop her off. Go home alone and jerk off to some other woman.
“Want me to take you home?” I asked her.
“No, that’s okay. Thanks, but I can drive.”
“Are you sure? I really don’t mind.”
“I’m sure.”
At my house, I pulled into the garage, hoping she’d get on her way fast. “I better go let Renzo out.”
“Speaking of that, can I just use your bathroom real quick?” she asked as we got out of the car.
“Sure.” I vowed to stay in the yard with Renzo while she was in the house, and I did.
“Thanks,” she said when she came out, smiling at me in the dark. “Guess I’ll take off now.”
“Okay.” I shoved my hands into my pockets again. “Thanks for hanging out.”
“I had a good time. Thanks for dinner. And dessert.”
“You’re welcome.” Now stop looking so adorable in my sweatshirt and get the fuck out of here before I lose my mind. I wasn’t about to ask for it back because watching her strip off an article of clothing was liable to put me over the edge.
“So you don’t have to work tomorrow?” she asked.
“Nope.”
She glanced at her phone. “It’s not even ten yet. Want to watch TV or something? You know you’ve missed watching Law & Order with me.” She poked me in the stomach, and I took a step back.
I smiled, barely trusting my tongue to say the right thing. “Sounds like fun, but I’m kind of tired. I’m used to going to bed early and getting up before sex.”