Inked Persuasion (Montgomery Ink Fort Collins #1) - Carrie Ann Ryan Page 0,68

to be able to get to know them. And it wasn’t like I paraded my personal life in front of them all that often. Though between my ex-wife and us moving here for my parents, it seemed like I did more often than not these days.

“Everyone’s okay. I just need to get over there to talk about a few things. Thank you for taking up the mantle today. We’ll get back to it tomorrow if that’s okay. I’m going to take a few things home, but I think we all need some space and time away from this place.” They kept staring at me, and I gritted my teeth. “Seriously. I’m okay.”

“You’re not, but you’re going to work through it,” Seressia said.

I snorted, a smile twitching on my face despite myself. “Well, thanks for that. And, seriously, thank you. All of you. I appreciate what you guys do, even if I’m in a shit-poor mood today.”

“Well, you are our boss,” Dustin said, coming up beside Seressia. “You’re allowed to get all growly. We hide our moods better.”

That made me laugh, and I shook my head. “Seriously, I’m heading out. But I’ll have my cell on me.”

“Tell your parents we’re thinking of them.”

I nodded at Seressia’s words and then gathered my things.

I made my way to my parents’ house, trying not to think. Trying to breathe. It was hard not worrying when everything seemed to be moving so quickly. I had moved to Fort Collins to help my dad, and that was what I was doing. Only some part of me hadn’t let myself think of the exact reason I’d moved here.

“I can’t lose her,” I whispered, my voice cracking. My hands squeezed the steering wheel, and I let out a breath, grateful when I pulled into the driveway. I wasn’t sure I should have been driving right then. I put my head back on the headrest and did something I hadn’t done in far too long.

“Jonah, I miss you so damn much. I don’t know what to do right now. You were my baby brother, and I always thought you’d be here, even when we knew life didn’t always work out that way. But I can’t lose Mom, Jonah. I’m not ready to say goodbye. And I know we have time, but every day seems to come faster and faster, and I don’t know what to do.”

My brother didn’t answer. He hadn’t before, and I knew he wouldn’t. But just saying his name aloud, saying the words to him, seemed to help. Or maybe I was kidding myself. I needed someone to talk to. Needed to do something. And because Annabelle’s face came to mind, I pushed that thought away.

No, talking to her about this would be too serious. It’d be too much. This wasn’t what we were, wasn’t what we wanted. I couldn’t rely on her. Because if I did, then I’d love her, and I refused to love anyone else. Not after everything with Susan. Not after everything I was already dealing with.

There was a knock on my window, and I jumped before I looked up and saw my dad standing there, worry on his face.

“Hey, Dad,” I said as I got out of the car.

“Hey. Do you want to talk about it?”

I clenched my jaw and shook my head, but I hugged my dad tight, leaning into him just a little bit. When he wrapped his arms around me and leaned against me even harder, I knew he was just as scared as I was. Jesus, I wasn’t doing what I was supposed to do. I was supposed to be the pillar of this family—the strong one.

And I wasn’t doing that. Things needed to change.

“Okay, I’m here,” I said, my voice firm. “Tell me how you need me.”

My dad met my gaze but didn’t say anything. Instead, we walked into the house, and I did what I was supposed to do, I became the son I should have been before. The one they needed.

The only son they had left.

By the time I left, I was a wreck, but things were okay. The doctor hadn’t said anything different, other than that things might be more challenging for a little while longer. But my mother had laughed and smiled through it all, and I knew I would remember that laugh every time I got worried.

I pulled into my garage and did my best not to look over at Annabelle’s house. I didn’t want to know if she was there