Inked Obsession (Montgomery Ink Fort Collins #2) - Carrie Ann Ryan Page 0,57

to say anything. And the more I didn’t speak up, the harder it got. I’m sorry. I should’ve come to you. Or anybody. I had never been through something like that before.”

“I get it,” she whispered. “I do. You were scared. I almost lost you, and I didn’t even know it. I hate that you changed things between us, though. And I don’t know what it means. I shouldn’t feel like it’s all about me. It’s not. You lied to us, Beckett. You’ve lied to us for a long time.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Not just about that. You constantly pushed us away when we were worried about how your dad was treating you. You always do that. When it’s too much, you don’t want to talk about it. Your dad was so mean to you and kept taking over your projects, and yet you didn’t talk to us about it. You just assumed that you could handle it all. And maybe you can. Everything became very one-sided, though. As if you couldn’t trust us to help you.”

“Brenna…”

“No. Something was wrong, and I couldn’t help you. I wish you would have let me. Because you give so much of yourself to help us, and yet you won’t let us do the same for you. You know it’s always sort of been the four of us. I have my relationship with Annabelle and Paige and Eliza. It was you, me, Benjamin and Lee. That’s who we started as. And then you slowly cut yourself off. From your twin. From Lee. From the way your dad treated you, to how you fell into work and pretended that you could handle everything on your own. You’ve changed, Beckett. And you were keeping secrets. Big ones. I wish you’d trusted me to help.”

I swallowed hard. “The stuff with my dad has resolved itself. We’re better now.”

“Maybe. I wouldn’t know, because you’re not talking about it with me. You bottle everything up inside and don’t talk to me about it. Maybe it’s because I’m not the person you love—and I’m not saying I need to be,” she added quickly when my eyes widened. “I do not need you to love me like that. I don’t love you like that. You need somebody. It’s not me.”

I opened my mouth to tell her about Eliza, even though it probably wasn’t the best time. I didn’t want there to be secrets. However, as she gave me a look and shook her head, I knew I couldn’t tell her. Not yet. Except, I had to. Damn it. I needed to.

“I’m going to go now. Mostly because I’m in the middle of work and need to get back, but I just want you to know that I’ll always love you.”

I wanted to growl. To hit something. I was fucking all of this up. “I love you too, but sometimes I just need to be in my head. I don’t mean to do this. To hurt you.”

“It’s not about me,” she said quickly. “It can’t be. I love you, Beckett. You hold so much in. I just…I need to figure out some things about myself, and it has nothing to do with you. That’s why I’m so grumbly and out of sorts. I swear. It’s not just about you. It’s part of it because I’m worried about you. Not only about the shooting. Or how your father treats you. About everything. So, I’m going to go. I love you. Just talk to someone. Because I don’t think it can be me. At least not until we both get our heads on straight.”

She rose on tiptoe, kissed my cheek, and left, leaving me to wonder what the hell had just happened. That couldn’t have only been about me. Something else was going on with her.

I stood there, trying to collect my thoughts, right before the door opened and Lee walked in, his brows raised. “Okay, what the fuck just happened? You sounded okay on the phone. And yet, here you are, standing with the door not even closed all the way and looking like you just lost your best friend.” He frowned. “Was Brenna here? What’s wrong? Is she okay?”

Benjamin and Archer followed him in, concern etched on their faces, as well. “What the hell? What’s going on?” Archer walked in and cupped my face. “Look at me. Are you okay? Do we need to call someone?”

I pushed my brother away and scowled. “I’m fine. I think so, anyway. And, yes, Brenna was just here. And