Inked Obsession (Montgomery Ink Fort Collins #2) - Carrie Ann Ryan Page 0,36

what I should have said before I freaked out in a bar parking lot.

Jacob would tell Annabelle, and the rest of the Montgomerys would know soon. And then they would come at me, asking questions, wanting answers. And I wouldn’t have them. Because there really was no excuse. There was literally no excuse for me not telling them what had happened. And yet, I couldn’t.

Because I was an idiot.

“I thought I was going to die,” I said, my voice low.

Archer stopped pacing, his face pale. “And you lost Brian?”

My throat tightened. “Yes. He died right in front of me. Benjamin, do you remember him? He was in a couple of classes with you, too, I think. Back in college.”

Benjamin shook his head, a frown marring his face. “No, actually, I don’t remember him. You had more friends in common with Lee than me. Just like I have a few friends that weren’t really part of our relationship.” He let out a breath, and I rubbed my head, feeling as though I’d fucked up royally. And I had. And I had no idea how to fix it.

“I… I can’t believe all of this happened and we didn’t know,” Archer rasped. “I… I don’t think I can be upset that you kept it to yourself because we all have secrets, but damn it. I wish I’d have been there for you. I wish you’d have let me be there for you.”

It felt as though Archer was just twisting the knife deep inside my heart, and I had no one to blame but myself.

My twin cleared his throat. “I get how our family is, Beckett. One person finds out, and then the rest do, and then it’s overwhelming, and you can’t breathe. And, honestly, I should hate you for not telling me, for hiding something so big in your life that you’re having a fucking panic attack about it. You freaked out, and you needed time to figure things out. I won’t say I’m not hurt, but I get it.”

I let out a breath and looked down at my hands. “You say you get it, but I don’t.”

Archer sat on the table in front of us. “Why didn’t you tell us? Why do you think you didn’t?”

“Because, at first, it was too much. Then I was keeping a secret and couldn’t break my silence. And then it rolled in on itself and I couldn’t breathe.”

Benjamin tilted his head, studying my face. “And because you needed to figure out what happened with you and Lee, who happens to be a part of it. Once you let the Montgomerys know, they know everything. And if I got the timing right, it was soon after we found out that Annabelle was pregnant. Therefore, soon after the wedding, and when we were trying to figure out exactly how our parents handle us at the job.”

Archer let out a curse. “Plus, Jacob moving out and into Annabelle’s place. Eliza moving out of the home she shared with her husband. Us burying her husband.”

Benjamin continued. “Eliza moving into Jacob’s old place and renting. That whole thing. And then, let’s see, Paige and Colton becoming closer and will they or won’t they get married. Same with Archer and Marc. It’s been a lot in the past year. Of course, we don’t know everything going on with everybody.”

Archer shook his head. “We haven’t been able to spend as much time with each other. I get it. You needed to figure some things out on your own, and you haven’t been able to yet.”

“You know what else you haven’t done during this time?” Benjamin asked, and I shook my head. “You haven’t taken a single vacation day. You haven’t taken any time off. I know the date of the shooting. I know when things changed. I know when Brenna changed.”

My gaze shot up. “What?”

Benjamin, my normally quiet brother, cringed. “I see the way she is with you. She knows you’re hiding something. Just like I did. You were hiding things from us, and while I understand it because I’m a Montgomery and know that we tend to fuck things up, Brenna’s your best friend. You should have told her. Especially if Lee knew, though I’m not going to get into that,” he added quickly as I opened my mouth to say something.

Archer leaned forward. “You need to get out of here. Just take some time off. Talk to someone. Do something. Because we love you, and we’re sorry that you’re hurting. People