Infinity Reaper (Infinity Cycle #2) - Adam Silvera Page 0,161

be able to protect so many people by disempowering the Blood Casters, Iron, and any other specter. But no matter how much Prudencia and I tried cracking Sera’s codes, we owe so much to Wyatt and his theories that got all the retrocycling in motion. Part of me feels like he should be here with me now as I’m using the steel baster to fill up the first vial of Starstifler that’s existed in my lifetime.

“That doesn’t look very drinkable,” Ness says.

“That Blood Caster downed it.” I fill up six vials and hand him one. “You can too. Enjoy your freedom.”

Ness eyes the potion. “So I drop some of my blood into this and then my powers are gone?”

“Bound, but yeah.”

“I’m looking forward to drinking this once I’m positive the Senator is no longer a threat,” Ness says, setting the potion down on the counter. “Once he realizes that I wasn’t killed in the Bounds, he’ll come looking for me again. This time he won’t even have to be discreet about it since everyone knows I’m alive. The media can circulate my face while not knowing that he can change his.”

I don’t want to know what it’s like to be hunted down by an entire country at that scale.

“But if you drink it now he can’t ever force you to use your powers again.”

“Then what, Emil? Do I become some honorary Spell Walker? Or am I going to get kicked to the curb because I might not be worth the trouble I attract?”

“Where I go, you go.”

“But why? I barely know you, but you’re also the only person alive who I trust. Why are we going through such great lengths for each other?”

I lift my shirt, only high enough to show him the scar in my side from where he stabbed me. “You did this to save me and I believe you. Trust goes two ways.”

“But even that . . . killing you would’ve been more merciful. Instead I keep protecting your life and you keep protecting mine. Why are we doing this? Are we friends? Or are we more?”

“I think we’re more than friends.” My heart is hammering as he steps closer to me. “But I also thought you were dead and . . .” It really sucks that retrocycling doesn’t let me change the past because I would like to avoid everything I have to say now. “. . . I started connecting with Wyatt. He’s not my boyfriend, but we’ve been bonding since I got here and I’m even thinking about becoming a Halo Knight. It’s not like the world is going to forget my face after I give up my powers, so I might as well keep doing some good.” He takes a step back and I want to grab his hand, but that’s not right. “I’m sorry.”

“For what? You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I feel like I did.”

Ness shakes his head. “You thought I was dead, and even then, you’ve never owed me anything. But I am interested in how you feel now that you know I’m alive.”

I’ve had so many regrets these past few weeks, so many things I wish I had done and said. “I want to get to know you better. Not just who you’ve become because of this war, but who you were before it and who you want to be when it’s done.”

“If it ever ends,” Ness says.

“I’m going to make sure of it,” I say, shaking a Starstifler. “I want to make sure you never have to hide your beautiful face ever again.”

Ness smiles. “Beautiful, huh? You’ve come a long way from only being able to say my face is solid.”

“I’m trying to have fewer regrets. Life’s heavy enough.”

“What do you want to know about me?”

There’s so much, but I start simple. “How’d you choose your name?”

“It’s the name of a star in the Cloaked Phantom. It’s the dimmest star in that constellation, and that’s what I liked about it. I’ve been growing up with a lot of eyes on me since my mom was killed, and my classmates thought my life was flashy because I was working all those political circuits. This power was finally going to give me some discretion to figure out who I wanted to become.” He takes my hand in his. “Things took a turn with all the Blood Casting, but I can’t get too upset since it led me to you too. Maybe one day when everything settles we’ll get to morph into something