rearview mirror. “Laura said you had an interesting day.” Dante makes a scoffing sound but doesn’t elaborate further. “Well… do you want to tell me why she said you told her you kissed Delilah.”
“Delaney,” I correct automatically.
“Whoever,” Ares counters.
“I didn’t tell her I kissed Delaney, I told her Delaney kissed me…”
“Ah. See now, that makes more sense,” Ares adds, nodding his head.
“But I kissed her back,” Dante adds before Ares is even done defending him. He sounds nearly as dismayed about it as I am.
Ares hits the brakes a little harder than necessary. “What the fuck?” He turns to face his brother in the seat behind me, with the car at a full stop.
“It just happened. They came in to announce I was the winner. She jumped up to hug me. She kissed me before I realized what was happening. It was just a little kiss. But before I pushed her away… there might have been a second where… I kissed her back. I don’t know, it happened so fast. And the photographer for the Independent was snapping pictures. I didn’t mean it. It wasn’t a real kiss.” His words are rushed together in a mess of information.
Ares turns back to face the windshield, and he lets his foot off the brake, so we inch forward again. His head shakes back and forth a few seconds later, like it took him that long to digest the information. His lips in a tight line, he opens his mouth like he might say something, but he looks in my direction and snaps his mouth closed and shakes his head again.
“It didn’t mean anything,” Dante whispers, sounding completely dejected. I’ve sat in silence the entire time. I don’t know what to say. I really don’t think I have the right to say anything considering the situation, but that’s not what my heart is telling me. That, and my head keeps telling me I can’t expect something from them that I’m not giving myself.
“It’s okay Dante, I’m not mad.” I cross my arms over my stomach, my own shoulders rounding down, making myself smaller.
“Well, I am, and even if you’re not admitting it, you’re something—mad, hurt, something.” Ares huffs repositioning himself in the seat.
“You don’t care, but you left school?” Dante leans forward, sounding skeptical, maybe even a little sad.
“I didn’t say I didn’t care. I said I wasn’t mad. How can I be? I could do the same thing to any of you.” I shrug my shoulders looking down at my lap.
“Thanks for making this even harder, you dipshit,” Ares grates. “Laura doesn’t think she has the right to be pissed because she gets all of us, and we only get her. She thought that she would have to share us in the same way, and you just confirmed her assumptions.”
“But that’s… no. That’s not how it is. It’s just us,” Dante adds, his voice more urgent.
“I know that, but this is all new to her, she doesn’t fully understand the bond yet. And we’ve been doing a piss-poor job of explaining it to her, if she thinks she can’t be pissed off because you kissed another girl. Which can I just say again, what the fuck, Dante?” Ares ends on a shout.
I duck my head instinctively, he can be scary. His big palm returns to the back of my neck with gentle fingers, massaging my stiff muscles.
“If I hadn’t been caught off guard, it never would have happened,” Dante pleads.
I snort. “That sounds like the same kind of excuses I’ve heard guys at school say to girls. ‘I was drunk, it meant nothing.’ ‘My hand wasn’t down her pants, I was falling.’” I mean, really; do guys think girls are that stupid? They only believe that shit because they want to. They don’t want to see the truth in front of their faces, so they believe the lie because it’s easier, and it hurts less.”
Angry now, I turn in my seat, dislodging Ares's hand. “What happens the next time when she does more than just kiss you? That won’t be your fault either? You’ll be so caught off guard that the next thing you know, you’ll be having sex?” My voice is rising with my anger. “How would I ever be able to trust you?”
Dante shrinks away from me, turning his head so his neck is bared. He won’t even look at me. I flip back around facing the front. We’re out of the school lot and on the road that leads