Just the thought made me want to collapse in on myself.
Instead, I straightened my spine. I couldn’t think of that now. I just needed to move forward—endlessly forward, one step at a time.
Cure for Mac. Escape for me.
A knock sounded at the door, and Kerala’s voice drifted through the wood.
Beatrix’s eyes widened. “I’ll be back again tomorrow.”
“Thank you. I’ll never be able to repay you.”
“Pssht.” She waved a hand. “Don’t worry about that.” With a swirl of magic, she turned back into a raven and disappeared.
I went to the door, opening it to admit Kerala, who carried a huge tray of food. Roasted meat and vegetables, pies and salads, cakes, and wine. My stomach grumbled, but I ignored it and gestured for her to put it on the table. “Do you know if the apothecary will be in tomorrow morning?”
“I don’t see why not.” She brushed her hands off on her apron. “Another headache?”
I nodded. “I haven’t been sleeping well.”
She studied me, her gaze keen.
Too keen.
I smiled and moved to the bed, hoping to get rid of her. I didn’t think she’d rat me out to Hades, but I couldn’t take any chances.
As she turned to go to the door, I asked, “Kerala?”
She turned. “Yes?”
“Is Hades’ magic entirely dark?”
“What do you mean?”
If there was only darkness here, maybe she had no concept of light. “Is there any kindness or joy or levity in him?”
Her lips cracked in a smile. “What a ridiculous question. He is Hades, god of the underworld.”
That would be a no, then.
“What about golden wings? Have you ever seen him use those?”
She laughed, making it clear she never had. “His soul is black as pitch. It is the nature of things, here. Don’t go looking for things you find on Earth.”
I nodded. “Wise words. Thank you.”
She nodded and turned to leave. As the door shut behind her, I sighed and climbed into the bed.
Tomorrow, I would fix this.
But as I drifted off to sleep, the memory of Hades’ face as he’d held me filled my mind. The desperate way he’d kissed me, as if he’d never wanted anything so badly in his life.
There’s so much more to him than I realized.
14
Hades
I strode through the empty castle, footsteps echoing hollowly as I made my way to my quarters. My mind buzzed with energy and my soul with awareness.
Awareness of her.
It was unacceptable.
And yet I kept doing things that were unacceptable. Feeling things.
By their very nature, feelings were a ridiculous concept for me. But feelings like this were . . .
I had no words.
When I reached my quarters, I let the door slam behind me and yanked off my clothes. I couldn’t get into the pool fast enough, desperate to scrub the feel of her from my skin. From my lips.
Memories of the kiss drifted through my mind. The way she’d tasted. The soft sounds she’d made. I felt myself go unbearably hard and clenched my jaw, refusing to take hold of myself no matter how much my body demanded it.
Every nerve ending buzzed with tension as I dropped low in the water, submerging entirely until the liquid surrounded me. I could still feel no warmth from it—she was the only one who brought a feeling of warmth—but I stayed there until my lungs burned and screamed for relief.
Finally, my body took over, forcing me to the surface, and I gasped in a ragged lungful of air. I gripped my hair until it hurt, focusing on the pain so that I didn’t have to focus on the memory of her.
Yet she wouldn’t leave my mind.
Unable to help myself, I strode from the pool, not bothering with a bathing cloth as I dripped water on the stone floor.
The mirror called to me, and I went to it, waving a hand in front to ignite its magic. The glass flickered and gleamed, revealing a view of Seraphia in her room, staring out at the ocean.
I could only see the sweep of her jaw and the curve of her cheek, the rich fall of dark hair, but it riveted me. Unconsciously, I reached for the mirror.
My hand neared the glass, and I clenched a fist, lowering it.
I was losing my fates’ forsaken mind.
Until I’d seen her, I’d had no concept of beauty. Of looking at something and enjoying it. Yet with her, I couldn’t look away. Now, all I wanted to do was touch. To feel her under my hands.