Inevitable - Kristen Granata Page 0,44
his lap as I push off the bed to put distance between us.
“The men ... the men that abducted me that night ...” I stammer, struggling to get my thoughts out in a coherent manner. “That was you? You threw me in that van and tied me up?” My fingertips touch my cheek. “You hit me?”
Graham’s eyes are wide as he stands. “No!” He grimaces and pulls on the ends of his hair. “I mean, those men took you because of my father, and I was there. But I never laid a hand on you. I didn’t want them to hurt you.”
A chill runs through me as I recall the gentle voice that whispered to me when I woke up in the van: “Don’t worry. You’re home now. Everything’s going to be okay.”
My stomach lurches and I feel like I’m going to be sick. “Oh, my God.” I inch away from Graham until my back hits the door. “Oh, my God.”
Graham was in the van that night.
He’s been lying to me this entire time.
“Eva, I know you’re angry. You have every right to be. But I need you to sit.” He slips something out of his pocket. “There’s more.”
“What is that?” I’m too afraid to reach out and take it from him to see for myself.
He lowers himself onto the corner of the mattress and pats the space next to him. “Please. Sit.”
I do as he tells me to, staring at the white envelope as if it’s a detonated bomb.
“While I was looking for something on your father, I found this. It looks like ... it’s Eric’s suicide letters.”
A sob escapes me and I cover my face with my hands. “No! This is too much.”
Graham cups my shoulders, rubbing my arms with his gentle touch.
How can being in the hands of a monster feel so safe?
“There’s a letter addressed to your parents, and one for you. I haven’t read yours yet, but once I saw what Eric wrote to your parents, I knew I had to tell you.”
“Me?” I whisper. “He left a letter for me?”
Graham nods, pain etched into his face. He knows how much this means to me, how I’ve longed to have that final piece of the puzzle.
How can someone love me so much, yet hurt me so badly?
Graham lays the envelope on the comforter beside me. “I can leave so you can read this, or I can stay. It’s up to you.”
Please don’t leave me. “Leave. I want to be alone.”
Graham’s face crumples. He pushes off the bed and steps into the hallway, and then it’s just me and Eric’s final thoughts.
My hands tremble as I tear into the envelope, my heart wrenching as soon as I see his familiar handwriting on the paper.
Dear Eva,
It’s hard to find the words I want to say. I know you’re going to be devastated by what I’ve done, and I wish I could take your pain away. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me for leaving you like this. Don’t be angry at Dad. It’s not his fault.
You are special, sis’. You’re going to do such amazing things with your life. My one wish for you is that you find someone to share it with. Open those steel gates around your heart and let someone love you. Let them see the person I see.
I’ll be watching over you every step of the way. You’ll never be alone, even when you feel like you are. Talk to me. Tell me your problems. I’ve got you. I’ll be listening.
I love you more than you’ll ever know.
I’m so sorry that I did this to you.
Love Always,
Eric
Sobs rack through my body as I clutch Eric’s letter in my hand. I lie down in the fetal position, letting this new pain wash over me, like an old wound reopened. I’m crying so hard that I miss the click of the door. Graham’s massive arms wrap around me and I curl up against him, letting him hold me together while I break apart.
Eric was in so much pain. A helpless despair that I can’t fathom no matter how hard I try. If only he would’ve opened up to me. If only I could’ve said the right things to convince him that he didn’t have to die to make the pain stop. We could’ve worked on it together. I could’ve helped him.
I could’ve helped him.
I could’ve helped him.
I could’ve helped him.
I weep for Eric, for the anguish he endured leading up