The Indigo Spell Page 0,140

that faraway expression that always came on when he had an anecdote to share.

"I'm sorry, did you say - "

"Never met a woman like Sally," he interrupted. "We fought our way across Switzerland together, always watching each other's backs. We finally got out alive - just barely - and she wanted to come back to the States and settle down. Not me. I had dreams, you see. I was a young man then, drawn to danger and glory. I left her and went off to live with an Orcadian shaman. It took two years and a lot of vision quests to realize my mistake, but when I got back, I couldn't find her. When I close my eye at night, I can still see that tooth sparkle like a star. It haunts me, girl. It haunts me."

I frowned. "I don't think the Orcadians have vision quests, sir. Or shamans."

Wolfe leaned forward and shook a finger at me, his eye wide. "Learn from my mistakes, girl. Don't go to the Orkneys. You don't need some mystical vision to see what's in front of you, you hear me?"

I gulped. "Yes, sir."

I hurried out after that, thinking that being in a different country from Malachi Wolfe might be a good thing.

The next morning, I prepared to tell Jill goodbye, but she beat me to it and showed up at my door. It was the first time we'd truly spoken since the morning after that last dream with Adrian.

She walked into my room and frowned when she saw the suitcase. "You're really going?"

"Yes. And I'm sure you know why."

She crossed her arms and looked me straight in the eye, without any of the reservation she'd shown last time. I had trouble holding that stare. "Sydney, don't leave Adrian because of me."

"It's more complicated than that," I said automatically.

"It's really not," she said. "From everything I've seen and heard, you're just afraid. You've always controlled every detail of your life. When you couldn't - like with the Alchemists - you found a way to seize back that control."

"There's nothing wrong with wanting control," I snapped.

"Except that we can't always have it, and sometimes that's a good thing. A great thing, even," she added. "And that's how it is with Adrian. No matter how hard you try, you aren't going to be able to control your feelings for him. You can't help loving him, and so you're running away. I'm just an excuse."

Who was she to lecture me like this? "You think I'm lying about how awkward it is for you to see everything that happens between us? Every intimate detail is on display. I can't do that. I can't live like that."

"Adrian's learned to."

"Well, he's had to."

"Exactly." Some of her fierceness mellowed. "Sydney, he brought me back from the dead. It's the greatest thing anyone can or will do for me. I can't pay him back, but I can let him live his life the way he wants to. I don't expect him to shelter me because of the bond, and I'm not going to judge him - or you. Someday, he and I will learn to block each other."

"Someday," I reiterated.

"Yes. And until then, we do the best we can. All you're doing by leaving is making three people miserable."

"Three?" I frowned. "I'm helping you."

"Do you really think I'm happy when he's miserable? Do you think I like the darkness that crawls over him?" When I said nothing, she pushed forward. "Look, I don't have the same physical reaction to you that he does, but when he's with you, he's so full of joy . . . it radiates through to me, and it's one of the greatest experiences I've ever had. I've never been in love like you guys are."

"I'm not - " I couldn't say it, and she gave me a knowing look. I tried a different tactic. "Staying here is dangerous, especially with him. The Alchemists might find out about everything - him, my tattoo, Ms. Terwilliger, and God knows what else."

"And if they don't find out, look at what you get. Adrian. The rest of us. Magic. The chance to uncover their secrets. I know you love this life. Why would you give it up? You're too smart to get caught. We'll help you. Do you really think Marcus and his Merry Men can do that much fighting when they're always on the run?"

I shook my head. "They're like me. They understand me."

She was obstinate. "They aren't like you at