Incipient A Dark Paranormal Romance - Bianca Scardoni Page 0,31
I couldn’t think straight when he was standing that close to me. “I don’t know what the problem is.”
“Well, how about you let me know when you figure it out,” he suggested, his face brimming with frustration as he turned away from me and started to walk away.
“Wait!” I grabbed his arm and halted him again, though I had no idea what to say after that.
God, I was such a mess.
“What is it, Jemma?” he asked softly and when I didn’t respond, blew out a breath of frustration and shook his head. “I really don’t get you, you know that? You pull me with one hand and then push me away with the other. You say one thing with your words, but then you think something completely different when I’m touching you. Nothing you say or do makes sense.”
“I know.” I couldn’t even deny it.
“So, what is it? Are you confused? Are you not sure what you want, or are you just too wrapped up in that bloodsucker—”
“That’s not fair,” I interjected, feeling the scorn from his words. “I didn’t tell you about him so you can throw it in my face.”
“I know,” he said, and it sounded sincere enough. “That’s not what I’m trying to do.” He paused for a moment, his eyes darting over my shoulder to catch the sunlight, making them look bluer than the Caribbean ocean. “Look, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought him up.”
Crossing my arms, I nodded, accepting the apology.
“All I know is that I want to be with you, Jemma. But if you’re confused or you’re not sure about me, then I have to let you be. I can’t keep playing these games with you.”
My heart gave a half-thump in my chest like it had forgotten how to beat as an overbearing sadness pressed down over me. I had no idea why I was reacting this way when this was exactly what I’d wanted from him. Well, not wanted per se, but needed. For his own well-being and protection.
This had been the plan all along.
I’d asked for this and prayed for it and yet now that he was pulling away from me, I could barely remember how to cope with the loss of him even though I had done it for months. Losing him—surviving him should have been something I was an expert in by now. Besides, this wasn’t about me. This was about him. About protecting him, and I needed to remember that before I lost him for real again.
Realizing how off course I’d gotten, I pushed my shoulders back and picked up my chin, forcing myself to remember the game plan. This was what was best for him. No matter how much it hurt to watch him pull away. “You’re right.”
His jaw hardened.
“I think it’s probably best to put some space between us.”
Trace looked back at me for a moment, his lips slightly downturned in a frown as he gave his head a slow disappointed shake. “Sure, Jemma. Whatever you say.”
And with that, he turned away from me and walked off toward the school entrance, leaving me alone with his disappointment and parting words. And I couldn’t even blame him. Looking back on how I’d been treating him these last few weeks, I probably deserved much worse than that.
12. ROLLING IN THE DEEP
As if going to school while The Four—scratch that—The Two Horsemen of The Apocalypse were in town wasn’t weird enough, I now had to do it with me and Trace not speaking to each other. And on top of that, we shared homeroom. The only thing that could have made my morning any worse was seeing Nikki and her unborn spawn of Lucifer galloping gayly through the hallways.
Lucky for me, she didn’t appear to be in school today, which meant I’d have one less lump of ass-pain to deal with.
“We need to talk,” chirped a familiar voice from somewhere over my shoulder.
I turned and found Morgan staring at me, arms crossed over her chest with her curly red hair pulled back into a ponytail. She wasn’t wearing her usual pound of makeup, but her signature irritated frown was still firmly in place.
“We don’t need to do anything,” I corrected as I turned back to my locker and continued fishing my books out. It had been so long since I used one of my textbooks, I was half expecting to find cobwebs on them.
“This is serious business, Jemma. It’s about Nikki.”