Incipient A Dark Paranormal Romance - Bianca Scardoni Page 0,16

my neck had already been bandaged…by Trace…for the second time this week.

I was an utter piece of shit.

“You didn’t do that to yourself, Jemma.”

But I sort of did, didn’t I?

“I let him do it,” I admitted and dropped my eyes in shame. I couldn’t bear to see his reaction as I imagine all the horrible things he must’ve been thinking of me.

Normally, when Dominic had his fill, he’d always put something back into me that allowed me some semblance of strength and dignity. But he’d left me on the floor, emptied and discarded like yesterday’s trash and I had no one to blame for it but myself.

Maybe this was a good thing. Maybe now Trace would see just how ruined I really was, and he’d decide once and for all to drop this infatuation with me and run for the hills. I was no good for him. I was no good for anyone. That much was plain to see.

“Why didn’t you call for me?” he asked suddenly, his voice low and gruff. “I was right there.”

I looked up and met his penetrating eyes. There was something swirling in them, something brokenhearted and disapproving, but he was working hard to hide it. Because he knew the truth. He knew why I had let Dominic do this…why I hadn’t called for help. He just wanted to hear me say it.

Maybe he was a glutton for punishment the way I was.

“Why do you think, Trace? Because I love him. Because I’m bonded to him. Because it’s the only way I know how to connect with him—to bring back his humanity.” I swallowed the jagged lump in my throat. “And because…I wanted it.” I could feel my cheeks burning with humiliation as I stared back at him from across the room.

His face twisted at my admission as though I’d just burned him, but he quickly looked away, hiding the pain of my searing words as he ran a hand through his ebony hair. It felt like an entire lifetime before he composed himself enough to meet my eyes again. Expression tempered. Mouth silenced.

In that moment, I wished with everything that I had that I could read minds the way he did so that I could know what he was thinking. So I could know his true feelings and be done with it. Was it anger? Disappointment? Disgust? Did he pity me? Not knowing was making my head spin.

“Please say something,” I begged, wishing he would just come out and say it. Put me out of my misery already.

His jaw tensed. “What do you want me to say, Jemma? It’s none of my business.”

For some strange reason, his answer felt like a slap against my scarlet-lettered cheek. The truth was, he’d already seen way too much to have the luxury of not having an opinion. “I want to know what you’re thinking.”

“Why do you care what I think?”

“Because you’re my friend, right? That is what you said before, isn’t it?” I asked, my voice taking on an angry edge.

He ran his hand along his jaw, and I could see the muscle flexing now. “Yeah, that’s what I said.”

“So, let’s hear it. What say you friend?” I honestly wasn’t sure why I was poking him or pushing him to give commentary on something so personal and embarrassing.

Like I said, glutton for punishment.

He sank back in the chair and met my eyes. “I say it’s pretty fucked up that you let him treat you like that. He doesn’t deserve to know you let alone touch you.” His jaw tensed but his eyes never strayed from mine.

“And why’s that, huh?” I tossed the covers off me and climbed out of the bed onto shaky legs, remarking my blood-stained top and giving zero fucks about it. Trace immediately popped out of his seat as though he were going to rush over to steady me, but then thought better of it.

He knew where that line was.

It was always there no matter where we went.

“Why doesn’t he deserve me, Trace? Because I’m special?” I asked mockingly as I spit the word out at him. “Because I’m your soulmate? Because I’m supposed to be pure?” I laughed, but there was no humor behind it. “Take a look at me,” I said, gesturing to my bandaged neck and bloody clothes. “There’s nothing pure or virginal about me so you can just forget the fantasy.”

His eyes raked over me as he took a small step toward me. “The fantasies I have about you have