Imprisoned Gods - G. Bailey Page 0,9
bringing her back for dinner. Isn’t that lovely?”
“Does she know what we are?” I ask, a little bit curious. “And which one of my dipshit brothers is this unlucky girl dating, anyway?”
“None of that talk in my house, young lady!” Mum snaps, putting her hands on her hips as I take my coat off. I don’t miss her frowning when she sees the state of the leather - stuck stiffly to my body, still damp and covered in green algae.
I put my hands up. “Sorry, sorry!”
Pey arrives just then, coming to a stop behind Mum and leaning against the kitchen door frame, crossing his arms over his chest. I smirk up at him, exchanging a look that we’re both familiar with at this point. He laughs, shaking his head and running a hand through his red locks. Our younger brothers are dipshits, and Mum damn well knows it as well as we do. Oh, we love them, don’t get me wrong - but you can love your pet gerbil, too, and that doesn’t make it any less of an idiot. Honestly, I’m looking forward to the day when they really get into their careers as karma gods and make me look like less of a screw-up. Gods know they won’t be any better at it than I am.
If mum took note of the smirk I shared with Peyton, she gives no indication, instead giving a sniff as her voice takes on a businesslike tone. “Now,” she says, “this girl is human and hasn’t a clue about us yet. So - I mean it - no magic or messing around. We don’t want to scare her off.”
“No idea at all? Oh god, she is going to be like that last human girl you brought back who ran out the house screaming,” I say, crossing the threshold and coming to a stop next to my brother.
Pey rolls his eyes. “Don’t remind me. Humans and us, well, we don’t mix well. I doubt I’m ever going to find a decent human woman who isn’t frightened by our family. It’s only the weird ones who like this shit,” he comments. “Though it was a real shame with that one. She was blonde, with these massive—” Pey stops when I whack him on the arm and flash him a disgusted look. There are some things sisters do not need to know about their older brothers.
“Guys, please,” Mum says, sounding exasperated. “This is your brother’s first real girlfriend, so we are going to behave and act like humans for one meal. Understood?” She looks flustered, and it becomes clear from the anxiety on her face that she’s stressing about this dinner. It must be my youngest brother who is bringing a girl home, then. Damien is only seventeen, and clearly crazy if he thinks bringing a human girl to visit a family of karma gods is a good idea.
Peyton and Hugo have learnt that humans and this house isn’t a good idea. Hugo lucked out and managed to find a long term girlfriend who actually knows what we are - and, more importantly, is cool with it. I can tell my mum is itching for him to propose to her, and I’m sure she will drop another hint tonight at the meal. But Hugo is the exception, and not just among my family; this is a problem that plagues gods of all sorts. The supernatural dating pool is rather limited, which leaves us with humans as our main possibility for romance. The only problem, of course, is finding a human who won’t lose their mind when they find out that gods are real - or one who isn’t straight-up batshit insane. Peyton hasn’t had as much luck as Hugo in the dating department; he may be the oldest of us all at twenty-nine, but he never did find a woman who was able to accept the truth of our lives.
I don’t even know how I would tell a guy about all this. Dating is damn hard for us, especially since we can’t date other gods. It’s some ancient, archaic rule about mixing the bloodlines - it sounds like a lot of hogwash on the surface, but gods still subscribe to the rule. My only guess is that the powers that be - meaning, the powers that be in our society - have determined that crossing bloodlines might create a god too powerful to be contained. Combine that with the possible logistical problems of having, say, a