My brothers’ angry stares pinned me in place and Luke’s fingers curled into my shoulder.
“It will come as no surprise to you he’s still a dick. I informed him that none of us would be visiting him.”
“Sunny—”
“That’s it,” I cut Echo off. “It’s done for us. I made it clear his shit was his, it is not ours. It never was. We’ve been carrying his burdens around for too long. Especially you, brother.” I looked at Phoenix and waited. I knew what was coming. Anytime my father was brought up Phoenix closed down. I understood this. But it was time for it to stop. “After I left the prison I drove to Mom’s.”
“You did what?” Echo seethed.
“Don’t try and bullshit me, Echo. I know you’ve looked her up, too. All of us have but none of us wanted to tell the others we knew where she was because that would mean we’d have to talk about her. In case either of you was wondering, she didn’t have more kids after she left us. That was all I wanted to know from her.”
“Thank God,” Phoenix muttered.
I agreed, totally. That was something I’d thought a lot about over the years, wondering if I had other siblings and if they were being taken care of.
Now, the hard part.
“My whole life I felt worthless. Mom left. Dad didn’t love us. And what he left us with, the mess he’d made, weighed me down. Echo, brother, I knew what you were doing when you became a cop, I understood it, and we all gladly followed you. You held us together. You guided us. We all know what you sacrificed for us. But no more. Today, I gave it back to Dad, all the shit he piled on us—I gave it to him and none of us are taking it back. It took until I saw Dad today to understand it was never me who was worthless, it was him. I did nothing wrong. And, Phoenix, neither did you. He didn’t love us because he doesn’t know how to love.”
“Sunny.”
That was all Phoenix said but his meaning was clear. He didn’t want to discuss his feelings about our father in a room full of people. I totally got that. So I let it go.
“And about today. I’m fine. Completely fine. And after a good night’s sleep, I’ll be even better.”
Luke curled his arm around me tighter. Something about this felt good beyond the obvious. It was a silent form of encouragement. No, that wasn’t right, it was more than encouragement. Luke was by my side—not because he thought I needed his strength but because he was proud to be there.
I wasn’t sure how I knew that, but I did.
He was proud of me and I felt it.
I let that feeling sear through me.
“I’ll take that as you kicking us out,” Echo reluctantly mumbled.
“I promise you I’m all right and if I wasn’t Luke would make me that way and so would you, River, and Phoenix. I know that now, too. Needing people in my life and turning to them for support doesn’t make me weak.”
Echo jerked in surprise and Phoenix smiled.
“Wasn’t sure he was good enough for you,” Phoenix started and I rolled my eyes. “Wanted to not like him. Wanted to offer to kick his ass out the door. But now I’m seeing he’s a goddamn witch doctor or miracle worker or some such shit. Whatever he is he’s welcome to stay.”
I rolled my eyes again.
“Good to know because I hadn’t planned on leaving.”
Apparently Luke didn’t find Phoenix amusing like I did.
“Just to say, I’ve already washed the blood out of my clothes once this week and I’m too exhausted to do it a second time. So if we can dial back the alpha male tendencies it would be appreciated.”
My joke fell flat and I knew it when Luke grunted. “Tomorrow I’d like a word with both of you. River should be there, too, but I’m not waiting until he’s back so he’ll just have to deal.”
“Why do you need to talk to my brothers?” I tipped my head back to look at Luke.
“Because I can’t ask you to marry me without their blessing. And since I plan on doing that soon…”
Luke’s lips were moving. I was sure words were forming but I heard no other sounds. The room as a whole ceased to exist for me.
How was it possible that yesterday had started great, went to shit then turned even shittier, I’d gone