And, yep, again, the woman had to ask if I was her child. This was my life. A father doing life and a mother who had to ask if I was her daughter.
This was the dysfunction I was putting to rest.
“Do you have more children?” I repeated.
“Will you come in?”
“Nope. I just wanna know.”
“I’d like to explain.”
There had been a time in my life when I wanted that explanation. But now I did not.
“There’s not one thing you can say that would explain why you left us to him. There’s not a reason good enough for leaving your children to live in hell. You knew who he was. You knew what he was doing. You knew it and instead of taking us with you to give us better, you saved yourself. All I want to know is if there are more of us. If I have brothers and sisters I don’t know. That’s all I want from you.”
“No, Sunny, I didn’t have more kids.”
“Thanks.”
I turned and was halfway down the walkway when I heard her call out.
“I love you. You and your brothers.”
“No, you don’t. I recently learned that when you love someone you don’t leave. Echo, River, and Phoenix taught me what family meant. But it wasn’t until recently that I truly understood what love is. And what you did was not love. It was selfish. It was cruel.”
“He threatened to kill me if I took you.”
“Yeah, Ma, did he? He threatened to kill you. Well, guess what, you still should’ve saved us from that. You should’ve taken us and saved us! You should’ve risked your life to protect us. You should’ve been brave, and strong, and tough. You should’ve been a goddamn mother to your children. When you love someone you don’t leave them. Not for anything.”
I was back in my car when it slammed into me.
When you love someone you don’t leave them. Not for anything.
Not for anything.
Not even if your job freaks the other person out.
You stay. You stay and fight.
Luke had not left me, not even when I was pushing him away. He stayed. He fought until he broke through every defense I’d built.
Now it was my turn to fight for us. I was not going to let him go.
Four hours later I pulled into my driveway with a plan.
I needed a shower then I was going to call Luke. Or more accurately I was going to return one of his fifteen phone calls. I hadn’t read any of the text messages he’d sent. I didn’t need to, to know he was worried.
But not yet. I needed to wash away the stench of my parents first.
I pushed open my door and pain exploded at my temple. My hand went to my hip to reach for my sidearm but it was too late.
I shouldn’t have waited to call Luke. I should’ve gone directly to him.
Those were my last thoughts as my world went dark.
29
My phone rang in my hand and my jaw clenched when I saw Drake’s name.
I was on the verge of losing my goddamn mind. Fifteen calls to Shiloh and she hadn’t picked up or returned a text.
Ten hours I’d been looking for her.
She was nowhere. And no one had heard from her.
“Yeah?” I answered.
“Fuck, Luke, fuck.”
Hearing Drake’s greeting I was instantly on alert.
“What’s—”
“Nine-one-one call came in. Shots fired at Sunny’s house.”
No.
Jesus no.
“Team’s been called, everyone’s en route,” Drake continued. I tagged my keys and was out the door with my phone still to my ear when I beeped the locks and slid in. “Not sure if we’ll make it past the yellow tape, but we’re sure as fuck gonna try. Ethan’s been updated and on his way.”
Oh, I was making it behind the police tape.
“Go in from the side,” I told him as I backed out of my drive. “End of the block, corner house. They won’t tape that far. Take the team and hop the fence. Shiloh’s house is the fifth over. Her patio furniture is black and she’s got a rock garden with a fountain. There’s a faux rock, it says peace. The key to her side door is in it.”
“Where do you want Matt?” Drake asked.
Matt, my sniper.
I rolled past the stop sign, pulled into traffic, and gunned it. I was ten minutes out.
Ten fucking minutes.
Ten goddamn hours.
And if I didn’t cool my ass down, in ten seconds I was going to lose it.