Well, that wasn’t a ringing endorsement that Shiloh’s brothers had accepted me into the family but it certainly fit with the Kent brand of humor.
“We’ll be back as soon as we can,” I told Phoenix and tagged Shiloh’s hand. “You’re riding with me.”
Neither of us spoke a single word as we jogged down the stairs and through the main lobby, nor did we speak when I helped her into my truck. Not a word until we were pulling out and she gave me the address where we were meeting the rest of her team. Then we fell back into silence.
My mind was swirling in a million different directions.
Shepard. His daughter. Ethan. Valentine. Chip. Riddle. Shiloh. Bullets.
“I do not want you on scene,” I choked. “I’d do fucking anything to have you back at the hospital waiting on Valentine to come through surgery. Safe in the waiting room with your brothers.”
“Luke—”
“I’ve known fear. I’ve been captured, beat to fuck, and scared me or Carter, Drake, Trey, Logan, or Matt was gonna die. I’ve tasted it. I’ve breathed it. I’ve heard it. But never, not fucking once have I been so goddamn scared of losing something so special, losing someone I loved so fucking much I knew I’d never go on without them I couldn’t function. I can’t tell you how I made it to the hospital. I didn’t know how long the drive was. I didn’t even know what I was feeling because there was a hole forming in my heart not knowing if you were dead or alive or injured. I was numb. And now that’s gone away and I’m feeling relief you’re alive. But that fucking fear is creeping in, baby, and it’s clogging my throat. It’s choking me. And I didn’t know how the fuck to push it down so I can let you do your job without me losing my fucking mind.”
“Honey,” she whispered and peeled my fingers away from the steering wheel.
Shiloh tugged my hand and rested it on her thigh palm up. She didn’t hold it. Instead, she traced the calluses.
My hand curled around hers and I squeezed.
“I cannot lose you.”
“You won’t.”
“I got twenty minutes that says otherwise.”
I heard Shiloh sigh then say, “I don’t know how to make this better for you.”
That was because there was nothing that would make any of this better or easy.
Now that the reality of my woman putting her ass on the line and in danger every goddamn time she suited up for a job had smacked me in the face, nothing would ever make it easier.
I saw the armored vehicles and pulled into the lot and found a place to park away from the commotion. I got out and quickly rummaged through my gear in the back seat of my truck and pulled on my vest. I was adjusting the side Velcro when Shiloh stopped next to me.
“Probably not the best time to tell you this, but you look hot in a tac vest.”
I shifted my gaze from my gear to Shiloh and I glared down at her.
“Probably not,” I agreed.
“Too bad I’m telling you anyway.” Shiloh glared back.
We didn’t have time but I took it anyway.
My hands went to her neck and slid up until I was cupping her cheeks.
“You still have blood in your hair,” I growled. “Do not fucking add to it.”
She ignored me and issued an order of her own, “Be safe, Luke.”
Then Shiloh rolled up on her toes and pressed her mouth hard against mine. Her tongue swiped my lips and she pulled away and ran across the parking lot.
26
My heart was jumping in my chest.
This was not because I knew Luke was somewhere lurking in the throngs of officers lining the street. It wasn’t the red and blue lights that flashed up and down the block heralding police activity which would draw looky-loos and give the man—Jeff Shepard—a variety of civilian targets should he choose to take the barrel of his pistol from his daughter’s ribs.
Shit night.
The worst kind of night.
Three teammates down.
One near dead.
Luke out of his mind with worry.
My brothers the same.
The rest of my team on edge.
And now we were facing down another crisis.
A teenage hostage.
A girl.
A father.
Logically, I knew this situation was different. Jeff Shepard wasn’t a loving father powerless to save his child. Shepard was the threat. So it was different but it was the same in all the important ways. An innocent girl’s life was in danger. And seeing the familiar scene playing