Her finger came out of the trigger guard, her hand came up and she ejected her brass, dropped the magazine, and finally, her cheek came off the stock.
Then her eyes lifted to mine and she smiled.
I swear at that moment the sun shone a little brighter, the heat of the day burned a little hotter, and I fell a little deeper in love with Shiloh Kent.
22
“I love the way he looks at you.” Liberty nudged my shoulder. We were in the parking lot getting ready to leave.
Jason hadn’t been at the office when we were done shooting, so Luke promised he’d get all the information for me when he got back from a site inspection.
“Drake looks at me that way,” she continued.
“How does Luke look at me?” I asked.
Then I held my breath hoping Liberty saw what I felt. There had been occasions over the last two weeks when I’d caught him staring at me and I’d swear he was looking at me like he loved me, but he never said the words. And there were plenty of times when I wanted to tell him I was madly in love with him, but I chickened out.
“Like you’re it for him. Like he’s not sure if he wants to drag you into a closet and give you the business or if he wants to put you on a pedestal and worship you.”
Liberty was correct in her assessment. I knew she was because oftentimes Luke went from “giving me the business” rough and dirty to switching it up and giving me slow and sweet in one session. I did not mind the change of pace. I actually loved that Luke could give me both.
“We’ve only been together a few weeks,” I reminded her. “Do you think it’s too soon?”
“Too soon for what?”
“For me to love him?”
In an instant, everything about Liberty softened and it scared the shit out of me. I was getting used to this friendship gig, but I was still in the early stages. I still had moments where I wanted to pull away. Times when Riddle, Chip, Gordy, or Mereno would ask me if I was still having bad dreams and I had to tamp down the urge to tell them to mind their own business. Which, by the way, I hadn’t had a single dream about Penelope in two weeks. Not since Luke started sleeping next to me.
Then there were times when Luke would ask about my dad and push me to open up and I had to fight the panic. Only once did I slip and fall back into my old habit of shutting down and retreating. Luke simply reminded me he wasn’t letting me hide. He did this firmly but gently. It took the rest of the night for me to apologize for being a bitch, but I was damn proud of myself for getting there.
I was a work in progress with a boatload of issues I’d yet to resolve but I was determined. Not for Luke—for myself. I wanted to be a better person. I didn’t want to be selfish. I wanted the people I cared about to know what they meant to me. And I wanted to feel the fullness of their feelings for me. So, I had to let the fear go. I had to believe not everyone would abandon me. But mostly I had to learn to trust myself. I wasn’t stupid. I had good instincts. I was surrounded by good people. I could be a good friend if I allowed myself.
“I’ve thought about this a lot—when was the exact moment I fell in love with Drake. And I think it happened in stages. But it started with three angry words shouted in my face, ‘goddammit, Liberty, breathe.’ I’ll never forget Drake literally breathed life back into me. I was beat to hell, covered in blood and grime, and at my lowest. There was no farther down I could sink in my misery. Yet Drake never once treated me like I was broken. He reminded me how strong I was. I fell a little more in love with him because of that. So what I’m saying is it’s never too soon to fall in love. I fell in love with Drake while my hands were cuffed, lying in the dirt after being tortured. And I did that before I even opened my eyes. Luckily for me, Drake is hot, or I’d be in love