But the far greater cost was the emptiness within Titus. It was as if he were somewhere outside himself, watching the struggle with the boat. His muscles worked, diligently and tirelessly, but he did not care anymore.
He remained in his icy wet clothes for a good long while afterward, until he was sure the boat was far enough from the cliffs of the uninhabited island that he did not have to worry about it being blown back and dashed to pieces on those unforgiving rocks during the time he changed.
If only—
He cut off the direction of his thoughts. What he had done, he had done for himself, because he could not live in a world without her. If this was the universe punishing him for his hubris and stupidity, then so be it.
Iolanthe’s head felt as if someone had stuffed an entire English boiled pudding inside: a wobbling mass. Her eyelids were as heavy as bricks, resisting all attempts at lifting them. Strange: she wasn’t as fanatic an early riser as the prince, but usually when she awakened, she felt refreshed and ready to face the day, and not drugged, as if she were stuck in a woolly abyss, unable to pry herself out.
Drugged.
Titus—the futility in his eyes. The tea with its wonderfully evocative flavors. The sugar cubes. Titus, putting all the remaining sugar cubes into his own tea, and then never taking another sip.
She groaned and sat up, her muscles as limp as the macaroni served at Mrs. Dawlish’s house.
“Iola! Are you all right?”
Master Haywood’s face slowly swam into focus before her, his expression as guilty as it was anxious.
She didn’t even bother to ask whether everyone else had gone. “How are they getting to the Domain?”
“They didn’t discuss it within my hearing.”
She pinched the ridge of her nose. “And you were glad for it, weren’t you, when the prince told you that he would hold his discussions elsewhere, so that you couldn’t possibly relay any information to me?”
“Iola—”
She held up a hand. She didn’t want to argue with him. What she did want was to put her hands around Titus’s throat and throttle him to within an inch of his life. How dare he make a decision of such magnitude for her? And how dare he make it in such a cowardly manner? She might yet acquiesce to the group’s consensus, if they absolutely felt they could not have her along—but not until after she had made a proper case for herself.
She got to her feet and staggered to the laboratory. The place was as neat as ever, not a single item out of place. She was familiar enough with its contents to see what they had taken: vaulting aids, sailing aids, all kinds of other remedies for trauma and injuries. But her ability to inventory the missing items did not give her any idea of how they had gone back to the Domain—or from where.
Only as she turned away from the shelves and cabinets did she notice the few things that had been left on the worktable. Kashkari and Amara’s two-way notebooks lay side by side, with a note from Kashkari underneath.
Dear Fairfax,
These notebooks contain intelligence that affects the safety of many. Since the pages cannot be adequately secured, we have decided to leave them behind, rather than risk their falling into the wrong hands. If you would be so kind, please send them both to my parents and ask that my sister-in-law’s be given into my brother’s keeping.
I am sorry we cannot say a proper good-bye. It has been a pleasure and a privilege to know you. Long may Fortune guard your path.
Fondly,
M.K.
On the other side of the worktable sat Titus’s most prized possession. And he too had left her a note.
Beloved,
I debated fiercely whether I should take my mother’s diary with me. In the end I chose not to, because I do not wish for it to become lost or destroyed, and because the time for prophecies has come and gone. Please keep it well, for in it is written your story too. Our story.
And please forgive me my trespass. I love you with every breath and I always will.
Titus
It was a measure of her love for him that she did not burn his note then and there. But she did scream, calling him names that would have melted a hole in the paper were she to set them down in writing.
When she was hoarse from shouting, Master Haywood, who had followed her