deer charged in front of them. Dozens more charged from behind.
There was no escape. It was over.
They were never going to survive.
Chapter 116
Mary Katherine slammed her foot on the gas pedal. The engine redlined. There was no extra gear. No extra speed. She looked in the rearview. The congregation chased her. Blaring their horns. Stones in their hands.
“Jesus, please save us,” she cried.
A deer ran from the woods. Mary Katherine screamed. She swerved left, barely missing the deer. Barely missing Hell. Terror gripped her heart.
“God, why is this happening?”
The voices on the wind wailed as the snow fell from the sky. The world was coming to an end. She knew it. This was the end. She turned sharply toward Route 19. The highway that she was never allowed to drive on. Another deer raced in front of her. Mary Katherine skidded right, barely missing it.
“God, why are You letting this happen?”
Two more deer ran into the road, blocking her from turning onto Route 19. God wasn’t going to let her escape this time. She had sinned too greatly. He was going to force her into hitting a deer. He was going to force her into Hell. She gunned the car up the hill. The blue moon hung on the horizon like an angry eye.
“What did I do to deserve this?”
It started as a dark little seed in her heart. Every question she never dared speak. Every doubt she ever had.
“I told my mother the truth. What else did I do? I didn’t do anything. I know I thought about it, but thinking it is not the same as doing it. It’s not fair. Why do You give us bodies we don’t get to use? And we can’t even think about it? I don’t understand. I have confessed every sin. And it’s still not good enough?”
The cars flew behind her. Horns blaring. She saw the deer creeping out from behind houses on both sides of the road. Her lips curled up in anger.
“Well, what the hell is that about? I’m sorry, but why did You make these rules that no one can follow? Why do you give us these tests that we can only fail?! Well, do You want to know what I think?! I think when Eve bit the apple, she didn’t commit the original sin. YOU did!”
Mary Katherine was so angry she didn’t know how to stop it. She felt more horrible with each word. But it was intoxicating at the same time.
“You didn’t have to banish her! She loved You! You were her Father! When you love someone, you don’t test them. You trust them. You talk to them. And You never talk to me! You just sit there silent, and I do all the talking. I do all the work, and You do nothing! And I’m supposed to feel bad for YOU?!”
Mary Katherine looked up at the sky. The clouds like angry faces.
“I did everything You told me! I believed everything You said! I prayed to You every day, and to thank me, You had my parents bring me to a stoning?! You had me get on my knees in front of You?! Why do You want me on my knees?! Why don’t you want me on my feet?! What the hell are You afraid of?”
Mary Katherine hit the next street.
“God, please make me understand because I am starting to hate You, and I never want to hate You! I need You to talk to me this time! I can’t do it by myself! I know You keep silent because of free will, but You can’t this time! I’ve lost everything. My mother. My father. My boyfriend. My priest. Church. Home. Town. Freedom. And I deserve an answer. TALK TO ME, GOD DAMMIT! WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME?!”
Because I don’t love you, Mary Katherine.
The voice was so calm. So sure. So gentle.
“What?” Mary Katherine asked.
I don’t love you.
Mary Katherine felt a chill crawl down her spine. She saw the deer running out of the woods up ahead. Ready to hurl themselves in front of her car.
“You’re not God,” she said.
I am God, Mary KatherIne.
“God loves everyone, so you can’t be God. You’re the devil.”
Mary Katherine thought about her plight, and it suddenly dawned on her.
“And I’m not the Virgin Mary,” she said plainly. “I’m Job.”
Mary Katherine looked up ahead. She saw a truck barreling down a side street. Dozens of deer were chasing the truck. Her car raced toward the intersection at a ninety-degree angle.