Clasping my hands together in prayer, I gritted my teeth. Say what I think. That’s been the issue. I’d always censured myself. Always said what people wanted to hear, but not the right thing. I was tired of giving piss-poor advice. Tired of pretending people weren’t awful. Tired of excusing bad behavior. I had a bullshit meter and, apparently, it had a low threshold. “Look, Rhonda. You’re right—”
“I know I am.”
“I’m not finished.” I raised a finger for silence. “You’re right about me not being thoughtful regarding you and Jamie. It wasn’t fair, and I didn’t think about you two. Honestly, all I could think about was that an immoral man wanted me to excuse his behavior. I know my brand is to be sweet and kind and nurturing. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m not that person.”
Rhonda’s lips twitched. “Never occurred to me.” She sat on the couch beside me. “Look, I know you aren’t the Raina we’ve marketed you to be, but no one forced you to do this, and there’s nothing wrong with the job. Do you know why people love you?”
“Because I kiss their asses?”
“Because you listen. Some people don’t have a friend or a listening ear. Or someone who won’t judge them for their choices, however bad they may be. Your voice and your words give them hope.” She exhaled, a long, frustrated, worried exhale and leaned back, head cradled on the top of the sofa. “Maybe I’m being Pollyanna, but your work, our work, is important.”
I grabbed her hand. She looked up in surprise, her blue eyes bright with emotion.
“I’m sorry, Rhonda.” I twisted the bangles around my wrist. “I don’t want you or Jamie to feel like I don’t value you.”
I tried to move my hand away, but she held tight. “So, what’s the next move? Should I pack my bags and prepare to never work in a top market again? I’d make a cute hobo.”
Rhonda shook her head. “I honestly don’t know. Best case scenario, you’ll have to apologize to Daniel and the listeners. Suspension is pretty much guaranteed.”
Damn, that sucked. I’d just bought a house with Cam, another thing I hadn’t considered during my rant. He was a pilot, a captain at that, and could afford taking care of the mortgage by himself. My savings had been wiped from the down payment. I really should’ve let Daniel, the herpes wielder, go.
“Worst case is that I get my ass fired, right?”
“Right.”
“Right,” I repeated, my voice weak and unsure. Suddenly, I appreciated the job I never wanted.
“If I get suspended or fired, let Jamie step in. She’s sharp and has a great sense of humor. Just let her be herself and not the old Southern grandma shtick I had going.”
Rhonda nodded.
“Okay, I’m gonna go. I’m sure they’ll make their decision by tomorrow, but I plan to get knockout drunk, so call me if I need to stay sober.”
“Roger that,” she said in a voice that belied her jealousy of my plans.
* * *
“If it makes you feel any better, I’d never give you herpes.” Cameron wrapped his arms around me after he slid into bed.
I lifted my head to look at the time: eleven a.m. Right after I left the studio, I’d called him, but he was still in the air. He must’ve heard my rambling voicemail, chock full of tears, curse words, and lamentations about my soon-to-be-jobless status.
“You’re taking the whole thing in stride.” I heard the sleepiness in my voice and cleared my throat.
“It’s not so bad.”
“Not so bad?” I snorted. “You didn’t hear what I said.”
“Yeah, I did. I had a layover and listened on your station’s radio app.” He pulled me close, my back flush against his chest.
“You were right to say what you did.” His mouth was near my ear. “The guy was an asshole, and if the station can’t see that, then they don’t deserve you. They deserve a robot. Someone willing to push a button to generate a nice response to dumb shit.”
Warmth spread in my chest and traveled to my stomach at his praise. “Why, Cameron, are you trying to seduce me into falling in love with you?”
“Nah. I’ll settle for a blow job, though.”
I chuckled and rolled away so I could turn to face him. I cupped his stubbled cheek. “What am I going to do with you?”
“Funny, I was going to ask you the same thing.” He grabbed my hand and kissed the center of my palm.