Illusions of Love - By Michelle Betham Page 0,86

from a person when they were never with them in the first place?’

‘Jesus, you’re not making this easy.’

‘You want easy? Okay, I’ll give you easy. I’m outta here.’ She turned to walk away from him but he was too quick, reaching out to grab her hand, swinging her back round to face him.

‘India, please… Look, I know how this sounds, but… I wanted you to be with me, to fall in love with me, to show him that you weren’t just there whenever he wanted you.’

‘That was never the case anyway, Dominic.’

‘I know.’ He sighed heavily, pushing a hand through his dark brown hair, throwing his head back and staring at the ceiling for a second. ‘I know. I just… I just wanted you there, with me, when I told him… when I told him I was his son. I wanted it to hit him hard, India. I wanted to get him any which way I could and I don’t even fucking know why now, y’know? Not anymore. Because none of it fucking matters. It really doesn’t matter.’ He looked at her, right into her eyes as a tightness crossed his chest, a small shot of pain making him flinch slightly. ‘And it doesn’t matter because what I didn’t bank on… what I hadn’t realised would happen… I didn’t bank on falling in love with you, India.’

‘You used me?’ she whispered, suddenly feeling those tears she’d refused to cry before making a reappearance, burning the back of her eyes.

‘Christ… baby, I never meant it to be that way…’

‘What way did you mean it then? You used me to get back at Michael – what other way is there of describing it?’

‘India… please…’

She shook her head, still staring at him, the realisation of what was going on here almost rendering her speechless. She felt as though she was rooted to the spot; she wanted to get away from him, but it was as if her body was refusing to do anything her brain told it to.

‘So, when you followed me to L.A… everything that happened there… it was just a way of you getting back at Michael?’

‘No… India, believe me, when I followed you to L.A. that was the turning point for me, that was when things were changing, when I was starting to have second thoughts…’

‘Then that’s when you should have told me everything, Dominic. You should have taken a step back and you should have told me. I mean, Jesus Christ, after everything I went through when I found out Reece was my dad… You could have talked to me, don’t you see that? I would have understood all those crazy, mixed-up feelings that must have been going round in your head because I’ve been there. I’ve been there, I’ve felt that shock, I know how it feels. But you wasted that chance. You wasted that. And this could have all been so different… Shit! I’m so angry with you right now, Dominic. So fucking angry…’

He felt his stomach lurch as the realisation of what she was saying hit home. Why hadn’t he seen that? Why hadn’t he seen that the one thing they had in common could have brought them closer together, instead of tearing them apart? His fault. He’d been blinkered, let tunnel-vision take over with that completely pointless need to get one over on Michael. And it hadn’t needed to be that way at all. He should have told her the truth that night in L.A. He should have told her. Jesus! What an idiot he’d been!

‘Baby, I know. I… I know that now. But things were moving so fast, my feelings were all over the place, I was confused…’

She’d heard enough. He may not think he was anything like his father but the similarities in his behaviour were just too close for India to cope with. ‘You said he was manipulative, with your mum, right?’

He looked at her, hoping beyond anything that she was beginning to understand his motives for what he’d done – no matter how twisted they may have seemed at the time.

‘And what exactly have you been, Dominic?’

‘No, India… no, baby, it wasn’t like that…’

‘It was exactly like that. Now, just go, please.’

He walked over to her and she didn’t step back, didn’t make any attempt to move as he reached out to gently stroke her cheek with his thumb, leaning in to kiss her mouth so softly she almost fell against him, because she was still weak where he was concerned.

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