Illusions of Love - By Michelle Betham Page 0,27

way we were, Joe.’

‘And what way was that, India? Me crazy in love with you but you never quite being able to love me back?’

She sighed, letting go of his hand. ‘Whatever you want to think, Joe. I’m not doing this to hurt you, believe me. I never wanted that to happen.’

‘I don’t give up without a fight, India. I can’t do that. I still love you, baby, don’t you get that? I still love you.’

‘I know you do…’ She really didn’t want to get into this, especially not here. Especially not now. ‘I know that, Joe, but… Jesus, why have you come here?’

‘Because I think we have something worth fighting for. But it seems obvious to me that you don’t feel the same.’

India just stared at him, unable to say anything because she just couldn’t find the words. She’d told him how she felt, she thought they’d done all the talking they needed to do. She’d had no idea he was so determined to keep fighting, and she should be happy that here was a man who loved her so much he was willing to exhaust himself in his efforts to win her back, but all she felt was sadness. Because she couldn’t fight that same fight.

JJ broke the stare, turning away from her for a few seconds as he blinked back furious tears he’d been so determined not to cry, but he was tired now. Tired of fighting a battle that she wasn’t willing to be part of anymore. But it was a battle he still didn’t want to lose, even if he could feel any chance of victory slipping away by the second. ‘Are you going back to Michael?’ he asked, voicing a question he’d been terrified to ask, but one he needed to know the answer to.

She shook her head, and he looked at her through narrowed, slightly confused eyes. ‘No. I’m not. I never was, Joe.’

‘Then… why are we doing this, India? If you’re not going back to him?’

‘Baby, please, don’t do this to yourself. It’s killing me, Joe. I can’t do this anymore, okay? I just can’t do it anymore.’

He came closer, leaning forward, resting his hand on her hip as he breathed in the smell of her, wanting to be this close one more time before he let her go completely. Something he knew he had to do, even though it was the last thing he wanted.

She put a hand on his cheek and smiled, letting him pull her closer, looking into his eyes as she remembered those dark days just before her accident, those days that had followed the shattering revelations that had caused JJ to walk out of her life. Those days when she’d thought she couldn’t go on if she didn’t have him by her side. Was she really ready to believe that she could say goodbye to him so easily after all of that? Yes, she was. She had to. To stay with him just wouldn’t be fair, because she wasn’t in love with him the way she used to be. And she couldn’t live a lie. ‘I’m sorry, Joe. Really. I’m sorry.’

He pulled away from her, certain now that his initial fears were nothing but true. She’d never really put her feelings for Michael Walsh aside, and until she finally managed to do that she was never going to be able to truly move on. But this time JJ knew that he was going to have to accept that he had to, because this had just turned into something he really didn’t have the energy to fight for anymore.

***

Candice had chosen two of her stylists’ designs to appear on the runway and Charley felt stupidly excited. To anyone else it might not be that great an achievement, getting a hairstyle out there on a fashion runway, but Charley felt like a proud parent as she punched in Vince’s number, eager to tell him everything.

‘Vince, guess what? She’s using two of our hair creations in the show!’ Her voice was loud and excited, bypassing “hello” or “how are you?” and Vince laughed as she carried on talking, far too quickly, but he loved hearing her so happy. ‘I tell you, we’ve got ourselves one hell of a team here in L.A., I am so proud of them!’

‘I’m so proud of you, honey. You’re the one out there, working them hard and getting results.’

‘But without you giving me this chance… Oh, Vince, I’m just so excited! The contacts Candice is

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