open the refrigerator door and grabbing a beer. ‘This is bad news, honey.’
‘I can’t see another way, Kenny. I just thought that, maybe, if I try talking to him, face to face, just me and him…’
‘You think he’s gonna roll over and give in?’ Kenny pulled the bottle top off with his teeth, spitting it out into the sink behind him. ‘Is that what you think he’s gonna do?’
Charley sighed, part of her knowing he was right, but another part of her knowing she had to do this. For the sake of her own sanity. ‘I just know I have to try, Kenny. That’s all. I just have to try.’
Kenny took a long drink of beer, his eyes on her all the time. ‘I don’t agree with you doing this. You need to know that. And if I do find him?’
‘Then I go talk to him. That’s all. I’m just going to talk to him.’
But, where Jimmy Cash was concerned, there was no such word as ‘just’. And all Kenny could get from this whole situation was one hell of a bad feeling, but what could he do? If he told her no, he wouldn’t help her, he had every inkling that she’d just go out there and find Jimmy herself and that could turn into a whole bigger mess than anyone could anticipate. So he had no choice here. He couldn’t let what had happened to Terry happen to Charley. But, either way, no matter what he chose to do, he wasn’t going to be able to sleep at night, that was for sure. He wasn’t going to be able to sleep well at all.
CHAPTER 29
India turned the piece of paper over and over in her hands, part of her wanting to tear it up and throw it away, get rid of it forever, and another part of her scared to let it go, because letting it go really would signal the end. Of another chapter in her mixed-up, crazy life.
‘Are you alright, honey?’ Martha asked, sitting down next to her on the steps of her trailer.
They were on location out in the Nevada desert, and even though the sun was fiercely hot, so hot India could feel it burning her shoulders, she didn’t want to go back inside. She wanted to be out there.
She looked up at Martha, trying to return the warm smile she gave her. ‘I’m fine.’
‘You sure?’ She looked at the sheet of paper in India’s hands. ‘Your dad told me, sweetie. About the divorce.’
‘It’s all final now,’ India said, looking straight ahead of her as people ran about laying cables and positioning cameras, the busy film set doing nothing to make her feel any less lonely. ‘JJ Foster. Ex-husband number three.’ She looked back at Martha. ‘How do I manage it, Martha? I mean, Joe is a wonderful man. He’s beautiful and kind and romantic… He’s a fantastic father to Ellie, he did everything he could for me, he loved me so much, y’know? And all I could do was throw that back in his face.’
‘Hey, come on, sweetheart.’ Martha took her hand, squeezing it tight.
‘I really did love him too. No matter what anyone says. I loved him so fucking much sometimes. Before… before I had the accident I was falling apart, and I was falling apart because I thought I’d lost him. I’d thought that was it, that he was never going to love me again and yet he was there when I woke up, the first person I saw; the only person I really wanted to see…’ She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, finally screwing up the sheet of paper, throwing it behind her, back into her trailer. ‘I messed it up, Martha. I threw all of that away, and for what?’
Martha pulled her in for a hug, stroking her hair as she clung onto her. ‘Things happen for so many different reasons, sweetheart. We can’t always control them, we can only follow what our heart tells us to do.’
India pulled away slightly, looking at Martha. The woman she’d told everything to, so she must know how confused she really was about all of this. ‘You know why I couldn’t stay with Joe, don’t you, Martha? You know why.’
Martha nodded, reaching out to wipe a stray tear from India’s cheek. ‘Yes, I know, honey.’
‘Michael Walsh – forever destined to fuck up my life.’
Martha smiled at her, squeezing her hand again. ‘Only if you let him, sweetie.’