Ignite Me - Tahereh Mafi Page 0,60
tell him. “No, that’s not crazy at all.”
He stares at the floor. “Hanging out with you has made me weird, J. All I do is sit around thinking about my feelings these days. Thanks for that.”
I crawl forward and hug him right around the middle and he responds immediately, wrapping me up against him. My face is pressed to his chest and I can hear his heart beating so hard. He’s still hurting so badly right now, and I keep forgetting that. I need to not forget that.
I cling to him, wishing I could ease his pain. I wish I could take his burdens and make them mine.
“It’s weird, isn’t it?” he says.
“What is?”
“If we were naked right now, I’d be dead.”
“Shut up,” I say, laughing against his chest. We’re both wearing long sleeves, long pants. As long as my face and hands don’t touch his skin, he’s perfectly safe.
“Well, it’s true.”
“In what alternate universe would I ever be naked with you?”
“I am just saying,” he says. “Shit happens. You never know.”
“I think you need a girlfriend.”
“Nah,” he says. “I just need a hug. From my friend.”
I lean back to look at him. Try to read his eyes. “You’re my best friend, Kenji. You know that, right?”
“Yeah, kid.” He grins at me. “I do. And I can’t believe I got stuck with your skinny ass.”
I break free of his arms. Narrow my eyes at him.
He laughs. “So how’s the new boyfriend?”
My smiles fall away. “He’s not my boyfriend.”
“Are you sure about that? Because I’m pretty sure Romeo wouldn’t have let us come live with him if he weren’t a little bit madly in love with you.”
I look into my hands. “Maybe one day Warner and I will learn to be friends.”
“Seriously?” Kenji looks shocked. “I thought you were super into him?”
I shrug. “I’m . . . attracted to him.”
“But?”
“But Warner still has a long way to go, you know?”
“Well, yeah,” Kenji says. Exhales. Leans back. “Yeah. Yeah, I do.”
We both say nothing for a while.
“This shit is still super freaking weird, though,” Kenji says all of a sudden.
“What do you mean?” I glance up. “Which part?”
“Warner,” Kenji says. “Warner is so freaking weird to me right now.” Kenji looks at me. Really looks at me. “You know—in all my time on base, I never saw him have, like, a single casual conversation with a soldier before. Never. He was ice cold, J. Ice. Cold,” he says again. “He never smiled. Never laughed. Never showed any emotion. And he never, ever talked unless he was issuing orders. He was like a machine,” Kenji says. “And this?” He points at the elevator. “This guy who just left here? The guy who showed up at the house yesterday? I don’t know who the hell that is. I can’t even wrap my mind around it right now. Shit is unreal.”
“I didn’t know that,” I say to him, surprised. “I had no idea he was like that.”
“He wasn’t like that with you?” Kenji asks. “When you first got here?”
“No,” I say. “He was always pretty . . . animated with me. Not, like, nice animated,” I clarify, “but, I mean . . . I don’t know. He talked a lot.” I’m silent as the memories resurface. “He was always talking, actually. That’s kind of all he ever did. And he smiled at me all the time.” I pause. “I thought he was doing it on purpose. To make fun of me. Or try to scare me.”
Kenji leans back on his hands. “Yeah, no.”
“Huh,” I say, my eyes focused on a point in the distance.
Kenji sighs. “Is he . . . like . . . nice to you, at least?”
I look down. Stare at my feet. “Yeah,” I whisper. “He’s really nice to me.”
“But you guys are not an item or anything?”
I make a face.
“Okay,” Kenji says quickly, holding up both hands. “All right—I was just curious. This is a judgment-free zone, J.”
I snort. “Yeah it isn’t.”
Kenji relaxes a little. “You know, Adam really thinks you and Warner are, like, a thing now.”
I roll my eyes. “Adam is stupid.”
“Tsk, tsk, princess. We need to talk about your language—”
“Adam needs to tell Warner they’re brothers.”
Kenji looks up, alarmed. “Lower your voice,” he whispers. “You can’t just go around saying that. You know how Kent feels about it.”
“I think it’s unfair. Warner has a right to know.”
“Why?” Kenji says. “You think he and Kent are going to become besties all of a sudden?”
I look at him then, my