If- Nina G. Jones Page 0,3

Then, I noticed something out of the corner of my eye. It was right at the spot where that guy usually was. I couldn’t make out what was happening in the darkness, but there was shuffling and suspicious mumbling. Something felt wrong.

On pure instinct (and naiveté) I crept forward for a better view. That’s when I saw my hunch was at least somewhat correct. Two people were surrounding the guy I had passed hundreds of times: shoving, laughing, mocking. He stood there stiffly, his hands in his pockets, with his gaze down as always.

“Take his fucking bag,” one of them said.

I didn’t even think. I just saw someone who needed help. If I just minded my own business, no one would bother me. Well, I was about to throw that whole motto out the window. “He—hey!” I called out. “Leave him alone!”

The shadowy figures stopped moving, shifting their attention to me.

“How about you mind own your business, bitch!” one of the guys called out, stomping towards me. The second attacker stayed behind with their original victim, pinning him against the wall.

My mouth had acted far before my brain could make sense of the situation, and right in front of me was a snarling face. Pockmarks peppered the mugger’s skin underneath his navy blue hoodie. He was shifty, likely a tweaker, and his nervous energy made it hard to stay calm. “Take his shit,” he said to his friend, keeping his gaze on me, almost taunting me to do something.

The tweaker smiled. His gums were receded, one of this teeth was shrunken and brown, and there was a gap where another tooth should have been. From the odor that climbed out of his shirt and up my nose, it was clear Tweaker hadn’t had a bath in weeks. He was young, but he looked weathered. Though his age in years may have been close to mine, his body had been put through decades worth of assault by his own hands.

I stepped to the right, hoping I could just walk away, call his bluff, and make a call to the police when I was out of sight, but he blocked my path.

His eyes scanned my face. First the good side, and then his gaze drifted to the other side. Sometimes, because of the way I tossed my hair across my face, people didn’t see it at first. I could usually tell the exact moment when someone noticed the disfigurement. There’s always a millisecond where the eyes widen, or the jaw stiffens. Others might not notice, but I have had a lifetime to recognize those small hints. Of course, this guy didn’t care for social convention.

He started to laugh. “Oh shit, Scarface is in the house!”

I clenched my teeth. This strung out cocksucker’s words don’t hurt me.

“Damn ma, it looks like you run your mouth too much and someone got to you before me,” he said, mockingly.

“Fuck you,” I said. I know, stupid, but it just felt right. God, did it feel right.

“And you still don’t learn! Now I’m gonna take yo’ shit, and your friend’s shit too,” he pointed back where his junkie friend and the mystery guy stood.

“No,” I said, stepping again to the right, hoping my defiance would protect me. I would not give him my fear. But he grabbed me by the arm. His touch drew out an anger in me I didn’t know was there. I ripped my arm from his grip so hard, I hit him right in the face. Then I felt the shock of the hit. It didn’t hurt so much as it rung throughout my head like an air horn. Then I was being dragged between two buildings, my mouth covered as I tried to scream. Cars whizzed by, and there were people under those tarps and newspaper-made blankets, but I felt completely alone. I prayed someone would step up, but the quiet of the surrounding area didn’t inspire hope. No one was coming to help us. I was being pulled into an abyss. I did everything I could, bucking against this disgusting tweaker’s grip and flailing my long legs. But he must have been high, as his strength was far greater than his slight build suggested.

“Leave her alone,” my fellow mugging victim shouted, still pinned against the wall. “Let her go, and I’ll give you all of my stuff.” It was the first time I had heard his voice. He was like a sad painting from afar all this time. Speaking suddenly brought