I Wish It Could Be Christmas Every Day - Milly Johnson Page 0,69

spot where all my greatest insecurities sat. Luke and I couldn’t recover from it. He swore to me that he hadn’t slept with her and I chose not to believe him and was just hell-bent on getting my revenge. I’ve wondered since if I did that because it gave me the perfect out from a marriage that had limped on way past the finish line. I couldn’t forgive adultery, and I knew Luke couldn’t either.’ She made a deep huff sound. ‘Do you know, Mary, I’ve studied what happened to us so much over the years that I could have done a PhD in it, and yet it still doesn’t make any sense. If we were then who we are now, we could have conquered the world.’

‘Tell me you didn’t stay friends with James and Tina.’

‘No I did not. And I punctured all four tyres on her BMW with a screwdriver late one night. At that point in my life I was made up of hurt and anger and tears and nothing else.’

* * *

‘Who left who first?’ asked Jack.

‘Moot point. Bridge will tell you she did. But I left the moment I discovered her suitcases packed at the bottom of the stairs. So I beat her to it as far as walking out of the house for the last time goes.’ He sighed heavily. ‘It mattered to my ego that I’d made the break first, when I was young and stupid. Now, I couldn’t care less about point-scoring.’

He realised that he sounded as if it had all happened decades ago and not a mere half of one. Those five years had seemed so much longer, he felt as though he’d collected a century’s worth of wisdom and sense and maturity in them.

‘It must have been a relief then for it to finally end,’ Jack surmised, thinking back to a sticky relationship he’d had years ago that had been a nightmare to get out of.

‘You’d think so, wouldn’t you, but I missed her for ages and I really had to force myself not to pick up the phone. I did come to realise that I was addicted to that high-octane theatre, the kissing and making up that almost felt worth the dysfunction. It was like a drug, and when I was weaned off, I learnt that life was so much better and deliciously uncomplicated without it. I had plenty to keep me busy, of course, the business seemed to boom overnight. I had a couple of short-term relationships, nothing serious, just pleasant interludes. But on the weeks when I had the dog with me and it was just us, I found peace in my soul. Then I started seeing Carmen and the peace just got better.’

In the dark Luke made a long sound of regret. ‘Bridge and I were a car crash, but…’

He didn’t go on and Jack didn’t push. That ‘but’ was loaded with a lot of emotion. He wasn’t even sure if Luke himself knew what those emotions were.

* * *

‘My life began with Luke,’ said Bridge. ‘I don’t count anything that came before it. I might have given him the idea for Plant Boy, but he gave me stability and a home and joy that I’d never had before and more than that, made me believe I was someone worth loving.’ Bridge’s voice cracked. She coughed the strength back into it. ‘I cut my teeth on him and I hurt him.’

‘Are you really sure you’re ended?’ asked Mary. Whatever Bridge was saying to the contrary, there was an awful lot of feeling for Luke still there, thick in the voice that had started to break. ‘Is there no way back for you both?’

‘We’re happier without each other than we were with each other,’ Bridge said. Something she had told herself over and over until she had been forced to believe it. ‘Goodnight, Mary. Let’s try and get some sleep. I’ve bored you long enough.’

Christmas Day

The magic of Christmas day is silent

You don’t hear it, you feel it

You know it, you believe it

Chapter 22

At quarter past nine Luke knocked on Charlie and Robin’s door with a jaunty rat-a-tat-tat.

‘You up?’ he called.

‘We are. Just give us five minutes,’ replied Robin. ‘Charlie’s on the loo. He’s reading Persuasion.’

‘Oh, tell the world,’ Charlie shouted through the bathroom door.

‘It’s only Luke, not a Daily Mail reporter,’ Robin barked back at him. He took a tablet out of the orange-coloured bottle and was standing waiting like a sentry, hand extended, when Charlie exited