I Wish It Could Be Christmas Every Day - Milly Johnson Page 0,133
star continues to rise. Milly was chosen as one of the authors for The Reading Agency’s Quick Reads 2020 campaign. I Wish It Could Be Christmas Every Day is her eighteenth novel.
Milly writes from the heart about what and where she knows and highlights the importance of community spirit. Her books champion women, their strength and resilience, and celebrate love, friendship and the possibility of second chances. She is an exceptional writer who puts her heart and soul into every book she writes and every character she creates.
Who’s covered in diamonds and sings ‘I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas’?
Bling Crosby
What goes on Christmas cakes and smells terrible?
Fartzipan
Why don’t sheep sing carols?
Because they can only remember the first two baaars
What’s more Christmassy than an Aldi Reindeer?
A Lidl Donkey
How do you make a slow reindeer fast?
Don’t feed him
Where does Father Christmas go for his summer holidays?
Santa Parks
Why did Santa paint a picture of Mrs Claus in watercolours?
Because she was no oil painting
Why do the RNLI have the best Christmas parties?
Because they really know how to push the boat out
What do you call an alien who eats too much brandy butter?
An extra cholesterol
Is it normal to find a Christmas market selling just jelly, custard and cream?
No – it’s a trifle bazaar
What position does Father Christmas play in football?
Santa forward
What sort of lions do you find at the North Pole?
Very cold ones
What’s a Christmas trifle’s favourite place in a police station?
The custardy suite
What’s red with a fur trim and has a hundred legs?
A Santapede
What do you get if you cross a spruce with a dinosaur?
A Tree Rex
What vegetables do you find in igloo toilets?
Frozen peas
Why don’t snowmen have a curry after a night out?
Because they prefer a chilly
Why is Boxing Day so called?
Because it’s spent reboxing crap presents to sell on eBay
What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a shark?
Santa Jaws
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Wendy
Wendy who?
Wendy red red robin comes bob bob bobbing along
What’s the definition of perfect Christmas snow?
White stuff that’s so deep the family can’t travel to you
What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with Sherlock Holmes?
Santa Clues
What sort of motorbike does Santa ride?
A Holly Davidson
Norway has 48 words for ‘snow’
But that’s nothing because women have 598 words for ‘ex’
What’s worse than a Christmas cracker joke with no punchline?
Why do family get together at Christmas?
To remind them of why they stay apart for the rest of the year
Where’s the best place to stuff Christmas stockings?
In carol singers’ mouths to stop the row
How do you make a reindeer stew?
Don’t leave him out any carrots
Also by Milly Johnson
The Yorkshire Pudding Club
The Birds & the Bees
A Spring Affair
A Summer Fling
Here Come the Girls
An Autumn Crush
White Wedding
A Winter Flame
It’s Raining Men
The Teashop on the Corner
Afternoon Tea at the Sunflower Café
Sunshine Over Wildflower Cottage
The Queen of Wishful Thinking
The Perfectly Imperfect Woman
The Mother of All Christmases
The Magnificent Mrs Mayhew
My One True North
Novella:
The Little Dreams of Lara Cliffe
eBook only:
The Wedding Dress
Here Come the Boys
Ladies Who Launch
The Barn on Half Moon Hill
Now available as an audio collection called Petit Four
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First published in Great Britain by Simon & Schuster UK Ltd, 2020
A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library
Hardback ISBN: 978-1-4711-9865-6
eBook ISBN: 978-1-4711-7855-9
Audio ISBN: 978-1-4711-7882-5
The author and publishers have made all reasonable efforts to contact copyright-holders for permission, and apologise for any omissions or errors in the form of credits given. Corrections may be made to future printings.
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either a product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual people living or dead, events or locales is entirely coincidental.