I Wish It Could Be Christmas Every Day - Milly Johnson Page 0,100

was now rabbiting on with tips for what to do with leftover Christmas food and booze.

‘Who has leftover booze at Christmas?’ said Robin. ‘We don’t, do we, Charlie?’

‘Not so much as a dreg of Cherry B,’ Charlie replied. ‘Talking of which, any cherries around?’

‘I’ll get you one from the bar,’ said Luke, and sprang up to bring him a cherry on a cocktail stick. Or two, as it happened.

Charlie popped them in his mug and Bridge made an ‘ugh’ noise.

‘My tablets play havoc with my tastebuds,’ he explained. ‘I’ve had some very weird cravings the past couple of weeks, haven’t I, Robin?’

‘He has. I did wonder at one point if he might be pregnant,’ replied Robin.

Mary didn’t say that the same thing had happened to her dad. He developed an obsession for bacon, burnt to a crisp and dipped in vinegar. She didn’t say it because her dad was very near the end then. It was like a switch going on, weird cravings revving up. Jelly cubes rolled in salt, toast slathered in mayonnaise. He didn’t even like mayonnaise usually.

‘Whatever lights your candle, Charles,’ said Luke.

‘…my wife and I like a turkey curry,’ Radio Brian announced to them. ‘And my friend Malcolm makes frugal soup from the outer layer leaves that you strip off your sprouts. He says it’s delicious.’

‘Malcolm sounds like a laugh a minute,’ was Robin’s response to that.

‘It’s minus two outside but it will feel like minus ten,’ said Radio Brian.

‘All the more reason to stay within arm’s length of this glorious fire,’ said Bridge.

Luke cast his eye towards the log basket. ‘I think we need some more wood from the shed.’

‘I’ll come with you,’ said Mary.

‘You will not,’ said Charlie. ‘Not while there are young, hunky men around.’

‘This is the age of sexual equality, Charlie,’ Mary said, wagging her finger.

Charlie wouldn’t have it though.

‘Women and men cannot be equal, there are too many biological differences. Men cannot bear children and women cannot grow beards.’

‘I’ve been out with a few who could,’ said Luke with a snort.

‘All the lines are blurred these days, Charlie,’ said Bridge. ‘Best not to stray into that territory.’

‘Charlie is right from a propriety perspective,’ said Jack. ‘I couldn’t sit here while a lady is braving the elements on my behalf. I’ll come with you, Luke.’

‘Lady, eh?’ said Bridge, quirking her eyebrow at Mary when Jack and Luke had gone out. Mary didn’t respond. It was just a word, it meant nothing.

* * *

Jack had to put his shoulder to the door of the log-store because it appeared to have frozen in the jamb. It gave after the second mighty heave and Jack went flying through it and landed on the wood pile. ‘Yep, this is the way my day is going,’ he sighed, as Luke helped him up.

‘Why’s that? I thought we were all having a good one.’

‘I’ve been giving Mary probably the world’s worst Christmas presents. Headscarves and tartan shopping bags, old-lady toiletries, mint imperials. And jellied fruits.’

‘Good God, man, she’s twenty-five, not one hundred and five. Why did you buy her those?’

‘I… er… actually I charged someone else with the task of buying something suitable for her,’ came the answer.

‘Wow, what a bitch,’ said Luke with a crooked grin of astonishment. ‘Why didn’t you just buy her something yourself? It’s not that hard, even if you’re the world’s crappiest present-picker. A John Lewis voucher never fails to hit the spot as a failsafe.’

Because you’re your father’s son, that’s why, came an unwelcome voice in Jack’s head.

‘And if you must know, I’m feeling awfully ashamed of myself where Mary is concerned. Quite a few things have come to light over the past few days.’

‘Like what?’

‘This is going to sound really bad.’

‘Try me,’ said Luke.

Jack took a deep breath. ‘I have patronised her,’ he said, with the same tone someone might have employed to confess that they had shagged a zebra.

Luke waited for more and when nothing was forthcoming he waved his hands in the air as if to encourage the ‘more’ to come out.

‘I’ve treated her as if she was a young woman who should really stick to what she was paid to do and not as someone with a brain capable of working outside the parameters of her job.’

‘For instance?’ asked Luke; the disclosure didn’t exactly shock him.

‘Do you know, Luke, it was Mary’s idea that the company should make vegan scones. I remember thinking at the time when she suggested it, Thank you, but you’ll find I know more