miracle, my skate lands cleanly, and the whole place erupts in applause. My leg is shaking horrendously, my ankle feels like putty, and every muscle in my body is protesting—but I’ve done it, I’ve nailed it, only fourteen years too late. Everyone is still clapping and cheering me and I’ve never felt like such a show-off in my life.
And I’ve never felt so good in my life.
I make a little curtsy to the crowd and skate off, unable to wipe the ecstatic smile off my face, replying, “Thank you!” again and again as people say, “Well done!” As I reach the gate to leave, I suddenly come across Briony, standing in her twirly skirt, clinging tightly to the barrier.
“Nice skating,” she says, shooting me daggers. “Didn’t know you were such a pro.”
And I know I shouldn’t, I know I shouldn’t…but I can’t help myself.
“Yeah, well,” I say, and give Briony exactly the same pitying look that she gave me in the hospital. “I kind of think if you’re not going to do it properly, you shouldn’t even try?”
Eighteen
I’m still in my surreal glow as I return my skates, put on my everyday boots, and go to find Seb. As I approach him, he’s clapping and nodding, an astounded grin at his lips.
“Well,” he says as I get near. “So that wasn’t what I was expecting.”
“Oh yeah,” I say nonchalantly. “Did I mention that I used to skate?” I meet his eye and we both start laughing, and then I wince and rub my thighs ruefully. “I’m going to pay for this tomorrow.”
“I have some crutches you can borrow,” says Seb, and I grin, then pick up the hairbrush.
“I’ll go now. But thank you again. You have no idea how precious this is.”
“What is it?” comes a familiar foghorn voice behind me, and I turn to see Briony approaching. She must have given up on the skating. She peers at the hairbrush with a frown. “What’s this?”
“It’s the present I told you about,” says Seb. “The thank-you for Fixie.”
“When you said ‘hairbrush,’ I expected something nice,” says Briony, wrinkling her nose. “Not this. I mean, Seb, where did you get this from, Oxfam?”
He didn’t tell her the whole story, I register. And I’m about to explain that it has sentimental value, when Seb exclaims, “Can’t you for once in your bloody life say something nice, Briony!”
Immediately he looks a bit shocked at himself—as though he hadn’t been planning to say anything at all, and then that came out.
“Nice?” Briony lashes back at him. “What nice thing am I supposed to say about this? It’s hideous!”
“It’s not hideous!” I say furiously, before I can stop myself.
“This is too much,” says Seb, his face white and taut. “Briony, I think you should apologize to Fixie.”
“Apologize?” echoes Briony incredulously. “Apologize to her? Are you nuts?” She comes close and stares at him, breathing hard, her face flushed and actually quite beautiful-looking. “You know what, Seb? I don’t know who this girl is…or how she came into your life…but you’re welcome to her. Enjoy!” She makes an exaggerated, sarcastic gesture at the pair of us, then swivels on her heel.
Shit. She’s going. She’s actually leaving.
“I’m so sorry,” says Seb, as she stalks away. “That was—”
“No, it’s fine,” I say quickly.
“You saw the worst of her.” His brow wrinkles. “She has this temper…but she can be really fun, really entertaining. I mean, she’s very bright, and she does a lot of charity work through her job—”
“It’s fine,” I say again, cutting him off. “Really.”
I know what he’s doing: He’s justifying why he’s with her. Or was with her, I’m not sure which. But I don’t need to hear the list of “Briony’s hitherto-unsuspected good qualities.”
“So,” I say after a long pause. “Is that…Are you two…?” I can’t bring myself to say the word over, but it’s hanging there in the air.
“I think that was me getting fired,” says Seb with a wry grin. “Don’t you?”
“Yeah.” I bite my lip, then add, “Sorry. That was my fault.”
“No. No, no.” He shakes his head adamantly. “I would have walked, anyway.”
“Right,” I say, trying to sound neutral, because the biggest mistake I could make right now would be to criticize Briony.
For a while we’re silent, watching the skaters whirling and floundering round the ice. Then Seb draws breath.
“It’s funny,” he says, his eyes distant. “You get into a relationship. And you know that person has flaws, everyone does…but you can get so used to them that