“I don’t know. I don’t know all the answers. I thought film producing was for me. I was wrong. All I can say is, if you can give me a chance, if you can help me back on that ladder…then I’ll pay you back, I’ll work my ass off, and I’ll appreciate it forever.”
He sounds so passionate, so humble, that I want to cheer. This is the Ryan I love—the honest, heartfelt Ryan who’s had some knocks but won’t give up.
Sebastian’s face has softened during Ryan’s speech. Now he looks as though he has real sympathy for him.
“Knock-backs happen to everyone,” he says. “And I should imagine Hollywood isn’t the most straightforward place. Good for you, for wanting to start again. I mean, there’ll be a lot for you to learn….”
“I’m happy to learn,” says Ryan emphatically. “I want to learn. And you know what? Maybe some of what I picked up in the film world can help you too.”
Seb is silent a moment, eyeing Ryan up and down. Then he seems to come to a decision. “I’m going to bring in my head of research, Alison, if you don’t mind,” he says. “I’m sure she’d love to meet you.”
“I’ll be going, then,” I say hastily. “You need to talk properly about…everything. Have a great chat. And thank you,” I add to Seb. “Thank you so much.” On impulse, I pick up the coffee-cup sleeve from where it’s still lying on the desk. I grab a pen and write Paid, followed by the date. “More than,” I say, as I give it to him. “More than paid.”
“Well, thank you.” Seb’s eyes crinkle as he reads it. “I appreciate it.”
“See you later,” says Ryan to me. “We’re meeting at Six Folds Place, yeah? Are you a member of Six Folds Place?” he adds to Seb. “The private members’ club?”
“No,” says Seb. “That kind of thing isn’t really my scene.”
“Fair enough,” says Ryan quickly. “It’s all pretty fake.”
“But Thai food is.” Sebastian’s eyes light up and he turns to me. “I was wondering if you could give the details of that restaurant you mentioned?”
“Of course!” I say.
His business card is still attached to the coffee sleeve, with his mobile number on it, so I quickly text him the contact details for the restaurant. I know I’m not the one being interviewed here—but even so, I feel like the more helpful I am, the better for Ryan.
“Thanks,” says Sebastian, smiling at me. “Well, I guess I’ll go and get Alison. Bye, Fixie.”
“Bye,” I say, and shake his hand, feeling suddenly shy. “And thanks again. Thanks so much.”
As Seb heads out of the room, I glance up at Ryan, feeling a burst of joy. He’s got a job! He’s staying in London!
“You did it!” I whisper.
“You did it.” He grins at me, glances around to check we’re still alone, then pulls me in for a kiss. And I close my eyes for a moment, letting myself relax for the first time in days. No more worries! Ryan’s here for good!
And I don’t want to be needy. I don’t want to say, “What does this mean for us?” in some pushy way, before we’ve even left the office. But on the other hand, why else did I make all this effort?
“So I guess things are…different now?” I venture. “For us? Now that you’re staying?”
I feel a beat of fear that Ryan will say, “What do you mean?” or “We need to talk,” or something else utterly crushing. But he doesn’t. Instead, he gently cups my face with his hands, his eyes shining with an exhilaration that mirrors mine.
“I guess they are, Fixie,” he says, and I can hear the happiness in his voice too. “I guess they are.”
Ten
I’ve been to 6 Folds Place a few times with Jake, and it’s really, really expensive. Even the doormen look expensive, all chiseled and handsome and dressed in dark-gray polo necks with intimidating expressions that seem to say, “Are you sure you belong here, because you don’t look like it to us, now fuck off home.”
I mean, they have a point. I don’t belong here. My £19.99 shoes certainly don’t belong here. But this place is Jake’s spiritual home and he’s invited me, so the doormen are stuck with me. (And my shoes.)
I know Jake and Leila are inside already, but I haven’t gone in yet. I’m standing on the pavement, texting Ryan, blissfully lost in our stream of messages.