to take it all away from her and there’s nothing she can do about it. That she will know what it feels like to lose everything she holds dear. And when she asks why, I’ll tell her that someone did the same to me once upon a time, and this is my revenge. This is my turn to be someone people remember. And by the time I’m finished, she will never forget me.’
46
Does that strike you as strange now, now that you have some perspective?
I don’t think I understand your question.
You were certain that Jessica Hamilton was sleeping with your friend’s husband. She had changed diary entries to mess up Eleanor’s appointments, she had stolen her child and had her investigated by social services. Yet you were convinced that this woman was out to ruin your life.
Touché. Maybe at that point I was internalising the problem. Making it all about me as Bea would sa— would have said. But given what’s happened since, what we know now, I’d say I was pretty accurate in thinking Jessica Hamilton’s grudge was with me.
Would you? I mean, considering what happened, I’d say you got off lightly.
I’d say you know jack shit.
I’d like to talk about your relationship with your mother.
I bet you would. That’s what we do, isn’t it? Look for where the problems begin; start with childhood.
Do you have a problem talking about your childhood?
I just don’t see the point. We both know what happened.
Do you speak to your mother now?
Occasionally. We don’t have the closest of relationships, if that’s what you want me to say. Not everyone does; there’s nothing unusual about that.
Your phone records show you spoke to your mother the night before your first session with the woman you call Jessica Hamilton. The call lasted thirteen minutes. What did you talk about?
I can’t remember. Can you remember every call to your parents? That was a long time ago.
And yet you’ve only spoken to her once since, and only for four minutes. Did you argue with her the night before your session?
Maybe. Like I said, I don’t remember. All families argue.
Not like yours, though, do they, Karen? Not all mothers say the things yours said to you. The things she’s been saying to you since you were a child.
My mother is troubled. You can understand why.
I can, certainly. Can you?
I’d like to take a break, please.
47
Karen
She was still shaken up by the session the next day, so much so that she cancelled her other patients and declared it a ‘personal growth’ day. She knew it sounded a bit tree-huggy, but they were encouraged to take these days often, although they were never encouraged to ditch patients for them. She put it in her calendar and hoped no one would realise it was a new development. In the last month she’d started to take more days off, and longer lunch breaks, and it was only a matter of time before one of the others noticed and started questioning her commitment. Ten years of dedicated, devoted service, working through lunch and writing notes at weekends, would count for nothing if one of the others made a complaint – her money was on Travis.
They were present in the office for their personal growth days, although they were encouraged to use their flexitime to take longer lunches, come in later and leave earlier, to set up a relaxed atmosphere while they reflected on their professional development, any challenges they were confronting and any goals they were setting for the future. They were expected to keep diaries of their time over these days for a development portfolio. Needless to say, on this particular day she did none of that. What she did instead was spend the entire morning searching the internet for any sign of Jessica Hamilton.
Her absence was what made her so conspicuous. There were plenty of Jessica Hamiltons on Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn, but none of them resembled her Jessica. When she drew a dead end at every avenue she tried – Google Images, even Myspace in case sixteen-year-old Jessica had been more internet savvy – she searched their patient records for more information.
She’d already read the referral notes before their first session and not come up with a whole lot of information, but now, given Jessica’s behaviour and her unusual fixation on Karen’s personal life, the lack of detail in her records was alarming. What they did have, however, was an address. She was so shocked to see it there, a nice,