sometimes it just felt as though they were finally outgrowing each other. When she was with Fran, she didn’t feel like some kind of failure because she wasn’t settled down with 2.4 children and an amazing job. Fran was older and the fact that she’d had kids before her baby sister was to be expected – plus her children were little shits and made Bea glad to be a lonely old spinster. Bea loved her friends like sisters, but whenever she saw them, she was just reminded of her fledgling career and total lack of serious relationship. So many times she’d thought about telling Fran about what had happened to her all those years ago, and yet she still couldn’t bring herself to say the words – to relive it all again, or worse, to find she was wrong about her sister and see the judgement in her eyes.
‘So Eleanor is a bit mental recently because of all the baby hormones and something to do with feeling like she’s losing her identity.’ Fran had barely made it through the door before her sister had started to let off steam. ‘And Karen’s been talking about a patient who creeps her out. She’s taking it too seriously, I think. I’m sure she knows me and Els are hiding something from her – we’re so rubbish at this whole surprise party thing. Plus she’s been going on at me about this guy at her work. I let her give him my number ages ago but he hasn’t texted yet. Maybe he thinks I sound like a loser.’
Fran raised an eyebrow. ‘Still trying to set you up with boring misfits?’
Bea grinned. ‘Yup. I’ve tried telling her I’m happy how I am, but it’s like she doesn’t believe I can be happy and single at my age … She’s only looking out for me. She just wants me to be happy.’
Fran shrugged. ‘Hmmm. I’m sure she is, it’s just …’
‘Just what?’ Bea’s tone of voice was sharper than she’d intended.
‘Forget it,’ Fran replied quickly. ‘Sorry.’
‘No, seriously, what?’
‘Well, it’s just that Karen’s looking out for you always sounds a bit like trying to change you. I know she’s your best friend, but is there seriously anything wrong with you being single?’
It was normal that Fran didn’t understand; it was a mystery to everyone how the three women were still friends after so many years. People didn’t understand their history was the cement in their walls. Still, with how she’d been feeling lately, her sister’s words struck a chord.
‘Karen doesn’t mean anything by it. It’s just what she does. She likes to feel that she’s helping in some way. And this guy doesn’t sound too awful …’
‘Okay, point taken. So he’s a psychiatrist?’
‘Um, no. He works in IT.’
Fran’s head snapped up and Bea laughed. ‘Don’t give me that look. Michael works in IT and it hasn’t done Karen any harm.’
Her sister frowned.
‘What? What do you have against Michael? You always make that face when I mention him.’
Fran shook her head. ‘I don’t trust him, Bea. I can’t put my finger on it, but I just don’t trust him at all.’
43
Karen
Karen knocked twice on the door and waited. She didn’t think she’d ever been this nervous about speaking to her boss in all the years he’d mentored her. She liked to think that Robert liked and respected her, but the practice had and would always come first with him, which made what she was about to tell him particularly difficult.
‘Yes?’
She pushed open the heavy oak door and stepped in, letting it close quietly behind her. Posh doors; there were too many jumpy people in this building as it was without loud bangs causing hysteria.
‘Karen, hey. How are you? I couldn’t help noticing how quiet you were at yesterday’s meeting.’
She walked over to his sofa and sat herself down like a patient, despite the fact that Robert was behind his desk. He took his cue, and got up and went over to sit opposite her. His sharp, manly scent followed him; expensive, the kind that made a woman’s blood pump regardless of the man wearing it. Not hers, though. He’d worn it for years; she’d become immune to it. It reminded her of late-night study sessions, cramming for exams she was sure she would fail despite looking confident to the outside world. She could honestly say that Robert was the only person who’d seen her panic; she’d let down her defences and he’d seen the real her