a few appointments. It made me feel good, in control.’
‘You’ve been in this woman’s home?’
‘Yes.’
The unease that had been mounting during the last half an hour now threatened to suffocate her completely.
‘Jessica, I’m afraid I have to ask you this. It’s part of my responsibility as a professional, and I wouldn’t be doing my job if I didn’t. Do you understand that?’
Jessica nodded.
‘Do you feel like your behaviour is in danger of escalating? That your thoughts towards this woman may lead to actions beyond your control?’
‘No.’ She shook her head slowly. ‘None of those things. She disgusts me and I hate her, but I’m not evil.’
3
Bea
‘Hi, everyone, my name is Eleanor, and my Fuck This Shit Friday is …’ Eleanor paused for maximum dramatic effect, something she had been good at since they were children. ‘I had to change at least sixteen nappies today, and I managed to drop one of them on my feet. Literally shit.’
Neither Bea nor Karen could stop the burst of laughter that resonated around the small café. Bea saw a couple of people look up from their newspapers as though the three of them were raucous teenagers in a library. She resisted the urge to stick her tongue out. As Karen continued to remind her on a weekly basis, they were grown-ups now, although whenever they were together, the last fifteen years seemed to melt away and they were back under Eleanor’s cabin bed with a bottle of Mad Dog 20/20.
Eleanor screwed up her face and took a swig of her drink.
‘You can laugh, you bastards. You’re not the ones cleaning shit off your new flat-heeled, so-sensible-I-could-top-myself shoes. Right. I nominate Karen.’
Karen picked up her mug and raised it to the group, but Bea saw her hesitate. It was only a fraction of a second; most people wouldn’t have noticed, but most people hadn’t known their friends since reception. ‘Pleasure to be here with you all on this lovely Friday afternoon. Thanks for the nomination, Eleanor. My FTS is that I’ve been so busy at work that last week I missed a dentist’s appointment and a talk by a leading psychiatrist that I’d been looking forward to for months. Clean forgot to write them on the calendar.’
Bea and Eleanor groaned theatrically and Eleanor threw her head on to her arm on the table. ‘For God’s sake, Karen Browning, you could at least make something up if your life is so bloody Little House on the Prairie,’ she mumbled through her sleeve. She looked up. ‘I’ve missed so many health visitor’s meetings lately I’m certain they have social services on speed-dial. Bea, your turn. And this had better be worse than poo on your feet. I don’t think I could handle winning this game a third week in a row.’
Bea topped up her glass of juice from the jug standing on the chintzy red and white tablecloth and braced herself.
‘Hi, everyone, my name is Bea.’
‘Hi, Bea,’ the other two chorused. Bea raised the glass and nodded in the direction of Eleanor, who was waiting eagerly.
‘I’d like to thank Eleanor for my nomination. My Fuck This Shit Friday is that I forgot to—’ She stopped short, remembering that the thing she’d forgotten to do couldn’t be mentioned in front of Karen. Thinking on her feet, she recalled her afternoon at work. ‘I forgot to book one of our major clients at work into our senior management seminar and received a royal rollicking from my prick of a boss, who called me incompetent in front of the entire office.’
‘What a wanker,’ Eleanor murmured, reaching over to rub Bea’s shoulder, the thumb of her other hand swiping through the text message she’d just received. ‘Oh for God’s sake, Noah’s still asleep. He’ll never sleep tonight if Mum lets him nap all day.’
Bea felt a momentary flicker of annoyance, but at the last second Eleanor redeemed herself and dropped the mobile into the yawning mouth of her overstuffed handbag.
‘He’s not worth worrying about.’
As Eleanor took Bea’s juice-free hand, Bea couldn’t help noticing faint biro marks on the back, the ghost of a reminder or a phone number that a ninety-second shower hadn’t quite erased. Her phone buzzed again from under the table, and to her credit she barely threw a glance at it.
‘That’s what Fran said.’ Bea grinned. ‘Just a touch more colourfully.’
Karen raised her eyebrows. ‘Isn’t it a bit late for big sister to be flying to the rescue?’
‘Oh leave off her, Karen,’ Bea said good-naturedly. ‘Fran’s always had