‘You’re freaking me out now, Karen. And no, I haven’t noticed anyone stalking me or my family or Adam sneaking anyone out of the back door when I get home. Have I been distracted? Yes. But not enough that I’d let those things pass me by.’
‘I’m just trying to look out for you, Eleanor …’
She nodded briskly. ‘I know. But I’m a big girl now, I don’t need you interfering. Just let me deal with my marriage, okay?’
‘Sure,’ Karen mumbled. ‘Love you.’
But Eleanor had already closed the door.
22
Eleanor
Eleanor leaned against the front door and let out the breath she’d been holding. Exhaustion clawed at her eyelids, but there was no way she could let it win. She stood silently for a second or two, listening for the sound of crying that usually accompanied her leaving the room. When she heard nothing, she took the stairs two at a time and crossed the landing to the bedroom she and Adam shared, shoving open the door and cringing as it slammed against the wall.
She didn’t know what she was looking for, and whatever it was she didn’t have much time to find it. Considering that until recently she had been the one who did all the cleaning and tidying, there weren’t many places Adam could hide things, but there were places she didn’t touch – his bedside drawers for a start. She moved with a frantic urgency, pulling out her husband’s innocent belongings: a phone charger, a spare light bulb, a remote control for a docking station long taken to the tip. No letters from a secret lover or spare phone, no lacy underwear or receipts from a fancy hotel room. A search of his jacket pockets and under the bed yielded the same result. Nothing to suggest he was anything other than a loving husband and father. Of course that didn’t disprove what Karen had told her, but it didn’t give her anything to confront her husband with.
What are you doing? she asked herself, sitting back on her heels. Do you really think Adam is cheating on you?
She tried to picture her husband browsing for jewellery with another woman, placing a hand tenderly on her arm as she chose her consolation prize. Another thought occurred to her. Was he going to leave her? With a sickening clarity she realised that even if she found evidence that Adam was cheating on her, there was no way she could ever confront him. Because that would force him to make a choice. And what if he didn’t choose her?
23
Now
How did you feel when you realised that Eleanor was the wife Jessica despised?
I think I was just confused if I’m honest. I’m not saying I don’t believe in coincidence, but her choosing me as her psychiatrist by accident was stretching credibility. At first I just thought she wanted me to tell Eleanor so that Eleanor would leave him. There was simply no chance of that – patient confidentiality forbids it.
But not if you believe someone is in danger.
Exactly. At first I wondered if she was telling me these awful things to force my hand, so that I had to tell Eleanor. I never thought she’d act on them. I should have moved quicker.
What happened when you finally told Eleanor what you’d seen?
You know what happened. She didn’t believe me.
Did that hurt?
No, she was in denial. Besides, I still couldn’t tell her about Jessica being my patient, or the things she’d said. I had no other evidence to give her besides seeing him standing next to a girl in a shop.
So what did you decide to do?
What could I do? I had to wait to see what her next move would be. Are you saying I should have done more? That this was my fault?
I didn’t say that. Do you feel like this is your fault?
Of course I do. I should have done more. I just don’t see how I could have known after one meeting what she was capable of. I didn’t know who she really was. And when I did try and warn them, they didn’t listen. They didn’t believe me. I did my best. I only wanted to protect them.
Just like you always did.
Exactly. So you do understand.
24
Eleanor
Eleanor lay on the sofa, her head in her husband’s lap, both of them staring at the TV – although if anyone had asked her to name the mindless drivel they were watching, she’d have had no idea. Her limbs were heavy with