I Know Your Secret - Ruth Heald Page 0,25

you in no time.’

Charlie nods, and I’m sad to see how grateful he is for this tiny piece of attention.

When Richard returns he sits down at the dining table and I take a seat beside him.

‘So…’ I say. ‘How have you been?’

‘Good,’ he nods. ‘I’ve been good.’

‘Clients OK?’

‘Fine.’ There’s a pause, and I think he might ask me about my life or even Charlie, but he gets right to the point. ‘We need to talk about money.’

I nod. ‘We do. And there’s no way you’re selling this house.’ I look him in the eye, and he flinches.

‘I know it will be difficult for you, but it’s what needs to be done. I can’t pay the mortgage on this house and pay rent on my flat.’

‘I’ve done some research. I have a beneficial interest in the house. Which means I’m entitled to live here.’

‘Have you consulted a lawyer?’ he asks.

‘Not yet.’ I’ve only looked everything up online, but I need Richard to realise I’m serious. There’s no way I’m leaving this house. ‘I’d prefer to come to an agreement between us, but I’m more than happy to take things up with a lawyer if I need to.’

He smiles wryly. ‘I’m not going to stay in a tiny flat forever. Not when I’m still paying for this house.’

‘Is it the mortgage that’s the problem?’ I ask. I’ve been studying our bank statements trying to work out if I can afford to contribute more to the mortgage, so Richard won’t have to sell the house.

‘Well, yes, that’s part of it. If I wasn’t paying the mortgage I’d be able to afford to rent somewhere bigger. But in the long term I want to release the equity from the house to buy somewhere else.’

‘Right. Well, I’ve been running some calculations and I think I can afford the mortgage, if I just take on more clients. I can show you the spreadsheet if you like.’ I hate the waver in my voice, how I’ve always felt inferior beside him. Richard had been my counselling tutor when we met, and our relationship has always felt unbalanced as a result. I used to look up to him so much.

‘When do you think you could take on more clients?’

‘Daytimes and evenings. I have a few slots open in the day, and if you looked after Charlie a couple of nights a week then I could have more clients then too. At the moment I have to wait until he’s gone to bed.’ But since Charlie escaped from the house the other night, I’ve been wondering if it’s even safe to see clients after he’s gone to bed. I need to make sure I always double-lock the door so he can’t get out.

He frowns. ‘I wanted to talk to you about that too. I’d like to see more of Charlie. I miss him. I’d like to spend the day with him on Saturday. I thought I could take him to the new soft-play that’s just opened up the road.’

‘Saturday?’ I don’t want to lose Charlie at the weekend. I’d been looking forward to a lazy morning, when I’m not rushing around getting Charlie ready for school, shouting at him for not putting his shoes on. I don’t see why I should do all the hard work, dealing with him when he’s tired and hungry and needs putting to bed and Richard just takes the fun ‘quality time’ at the weekend.

‘It would be more helpful if you took him one evening. If you collected him from school.’

‘You know I work then.’

‘You could do it on your afternoon off. Or else, could you pick him up from here when you finish work and take him to stay at yours? Or come here and look after him while I work?’ That would solve my problem of Charlie being alone in the house while I’m working. At least some of the time. ‘You could do it every week if it works.’ I smile at him.

‘I’m not sure that’s convenient for me.’

‘Why? Do you have other plans?’

‘No, but—’

‘We have a son, Richard. He’s our joint responsibility.’

‘I suppose I could look into it.’

‘And there’s the safety aspect too. I feel uncomfortable leaving him alone. Charlie tried to get out of the house the other day, while I was seeing clients.’ Guilt stops me from telling him he succeeded, that I didn’t know how long he’d been out there, alone in his pyjamas, that he was almost run over. I don’t want Richard to think I’m